Before I begin this entry, I’d like to say thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of me and my writing. It has meant the world to me seeing all of the positive feedback. It inspired me to write more and feel comfortable with what I had to say. However, this will be my last post. For personal reasons, I have decided to stop writing. It no longer fills the void that it once had. Again, I’d like to thank everybody for their kind words of encouragement throughout my short-lived writing hobby.
You were my hero. You told me exactly what I wanted to hear and made me feel like I meant something to you. It’s unfortunate that it was all an act. You didn’t love me- you never did. You pretended to have feelings for me to get what you wanted. I’m proud to say that you never got it. So now I would like to thank you.
Thank you for leaving me when you did. If you hadn’t, I would’ve lost a whole lot more than just my sanity.
Thank you for giving up on me. Feeling that kind of disappointment from you motivated me to be better for someone else. I realized that I was going in the wrong direction and it was actually because I was fooled by false love. I used that as motivation to get back on the right track.
Thank you for telling me that I wasn’t worth anything. You made me worth something because I had less baggage once you left. I looked at myself as a prize, no matter what anybody else had to say.
Thank you for teaching me what my limits are. Now that I am a little more experienced with relationships that don’t end very well, I can recognize the warning signs and stop things before they get out of hand.
Thank you for putting me through the pain and suffering. I used the nights full of tears as inspiration. To this day, I think back on those nights and tell myself that I will never stoop so low again. I am worth so much more than that.
Although you caused me a lot of heartbreak, I want to thank you for being my friend in the time that we were together. It may have been entirely fake and worth nothing, but the words that you would tell me everyday-that I was the most amazing and brilliant girl- kept me smiling when I would have otherwise been upset. You may not have meant it, but it meant something to me at the time. It kept me motivated to be the best version of me.
The lessons that I have learned since you left have shaped me into the person that I am today. It has given me the strength to deny you from coming back even when you endlessly beg for another chance. I know what it’s like to let myself be happy without you, and it seems more like second nature now than a forceful decision.
I will no longer beg for someone like you to stay in my life. I have surpassed any place in my life where I may have given you another chance. We break and we grow. Fortunately for me, I grew taller than your already gigantic ego, and I became who I was meant to be. And that is me without you.
I can honestly say that I did not love you like I thought I did. You meant the world to me, but I did not love you. I learned what love was after you left and I was broken on the floor. Those who rallied to support me and lift me up loved me. Love was not hurting alone while you were secretly out with other girls. Love was not hoping that I wouldn’t say something wrong and send you into a whirlwind of hate and disappointment in me.Love was not allowing you to hurt me because you were “so kind to me any other time.” Love was not present when we were.