We all know that relationships don’t always work out. Heartbreak is honestly inevitable. But it’s your responsibility to let the break ups and hard times impact you positively. Some people aren’t meant for life, but for life lessons. I’ve learned a lot from my exes that, in some cases, I didn’t expect. So although I may not have been happy with how things ended, I am very happy with the result in the long run. Every bad experience shaped me into who I am now.
So you may be asking, “what did she learn?”
1. You can’t change people.
Bad boys will stay bad. No matter how much you think you can change them for the better, it’s not going to happen. Don’t waste your time.
2. When to give up fighting for something.
There comes a time where the arguments and unhappiness is too much. You may feel like there’s no way to bounce back from where you are. If you have to beg or change who you are to be with someone, it’s time to walk away no matter how hard it might be.
3. It’s important to put yourself first.
Of course that doesn’t mean putting the other person last, but you need to realize your self worth and make sure that you are always doing what’s best for you even if your partner doesn’t agree with it. I had a hard time doing this for a while because I wanted to make sure my boyfriend was happy and got everything they wanted and deserved and that sometimes put my happiness in jeopardy.
4. Don’t rush into love.
There’s no need to be in love after a couple weeks of dating if you aren’t sure of it. Don’t try to force it. If he/she is the one, you’ve got so much time to love each other. I’ve rushed things before and it got ugly fast. I think that if you’re rushing things, you’re going to rush to the ugly before you’re ready to handle that aspect together.
5. How to talk about your feelings.
I wasn’t very good at this at first, but I learned through experiences. I used to not even talk about how I was feeling, and now it’s like a faucet that won’t turn off. If I think I need to voice how I’m feeling, there’s nothing holding me back. And it’s very beneficial.
6. Love doesn’t die, but it can change its form.
There’s a few of my exes that I still love. No, I’m not in love with them. No, I don’t want to be with them again. I just have genuine love for them that will never go away. Some have become good friends, and others are like strangers. But the love is still there. Some of my exes take very good care of me to this day.
7. Love can be one sided.
It’s very easy to get emotionally attached, and sometimes the other person just may not feel that same way. It’s a terrible feeling, but it can happen. You can’t force anyone to love you. But you can control how that effects you.
8. Dates are important.
I was in a lot of relationships where we never went out on dates. We just hung out at home and watched movies. It’s important to get out and see your s/o in different settings to really get to know all sides of them.
9. If they love you, they’ll let you know.
You should never wonder if you’re important to them. They should make sure that you know. And if they truly love you, they’ll do that without being told to. If you have to constantly tell them that you don’t feel loved or need more attention/affection, let them go before you damage your self confidence.
10. What I want in a man.
I’ve been through a lot of heartbreaks and each one helped me notice things about people. I realized what traits I like and dislike in a partner. It helped me narrow the search for the right person. It’s not being picky, it’s knowing what I want.
All of my exes have been great influences on me in some way or another. While we may not all be in contact, I truly wish the best for all of them because they did so much for me at some point. Some still do. Some are great friends who continue to teach me lessons about myself and the world around me. It’s so interesting to see all the ways one person can shape you.