Lifestyle

Meet My Boyfriend

As I mentioned when I first came back, a lot has happened over my spicy COVID summer. One of those things being meeting my boyfriend and my better half, Colt. And ever since we met, we’ve been inseparable. It’s pretty cool.

109120528_3535615989832689_1854164441435097858_n

I was hesitant on writing about our relationship just yet because of what usually happens whenever I share too much of my personal life too soon (hint: it goes to shit), but I think that now more than ever, we have to be over the moon about every victory. And Colt is definitely one of my biggest victories.

Colt is the sweetest man I have ever met, let alone dated. He cares so much for other people and is always willing to go out of his way to make sure others have what they need. I was immediately shocked (and impressed) by how selfless this man is. It was one of the first things that got me hooked.

He was the first man to actually take me out on a first date, open every door for me, and treat me with unwavering respect. I’m amazed that someone like him exists. I don’t believe that I deserve him in the slightest, but I won’t complain.

Something extra special about our relationship is that it is my first long distance relationship. I mean, it’s not super long distance, but it’s still a whole new ball game for me. We’re nearly four hours apart, which can be daunting at times, but we’ve learned to make the best of it. Plus that saying, “distance makes the heart grow fonder,” has proven itself to be very, very true.

I know that Colt and I will be going on several adventures together, so you’ll be hearing a lot about him in the future. Be ready!

Untitled_Artwork 2

August 17, 2020September 10, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

End of the Month Check-in | July 2020

Happy Friday guys! I originally wasn’t planning on posting today but I woke up with the urge to write, so here I am!

Something that I’ve been wanting to incorporate into my posting schedule is a monthly check-in. These will be very similar to my life audits, which I will be writing an instructional post on soon. In these check-ins, I’ll do a quick reflection of the last month and plan for the following month. I give myself ten minutes to complete the reflection so I’m not overthinking or overanalyzing things.

So let’s do July’s check-in to start things out!

I feel…

pretty good about how this month has gone for the most part. I think a lot of the decisions I made this month were in the best interests of myself and those around me.

I need…

to stop being so hard on myself. This month I noticed I was comparing myself to others a lot and getting down on myself. I need to pick myself up and dust myself up in August.

I forgive…

myself for being so mean to myself this month. These things happen. But just because I forgive myself doesn’t mean I’ll let it continue.

I celebrate…

getting a new laptop! I was without a functioning laptop for the entire month of July and I was really struggling. I used an old one from high school and honey, that poor thing has been seen better days. It feels good to be using a computer that doesn’t shut off on its own or delete my projects!

I release…

any bad energy I have stored deep inside me. That shit needs to go.

I trust…

myself to make the right decisions for myself, no matter how hard they may be. I also trust myself to think about the long/short term outcomes of my actions.

I hope…

to have a successful and productive August.

Untitled_Artwork 2

July 31, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

Reviewing Shows I’m Watching in Quarantine

Being stuck at home has been challenging. Everyday has been harder and harder to keep busy. Especially now that school is wrapped up for the semester, I’m finding it difficult to find things to do. I’ll be honest- I’ve been spending most of my free time watching Netflix and Prime shows.

While I’ve finished some of the single-season shows, there are others that I’m still working on. If you’re looking for new shows to watch while you’re isolating at home, keep reading!

1. Upload on Amazon Prime

★★★★★

IMDb Summary: A man is able to choose his own afterlife after his untimely death.

This show has me hooked. I’ve loved Robbie Amell since the True Jackson V.P. days, so that was enough to get me watching. It’s set in 2033, so the not-so-distant future. I was fully committed to each episode, which is rare. I’m usually scrolling through my phone while watching tv, but I couldn’t have cared less about my phone when watching. My sister and I watched all ten episodes in less than 24 hours, and when I say the last episode leaves you needing more, I’m not kidding. I LOVE this show!

2. Never Have I Ever on Netflix

★★★★☆

IMDb Summary: The complicated life of a modern-day first generation Indian American teenage girl, inspired by Mindy Kaling’s own childhood.

Being 21, I felt a little out of the age demographic watching this, but I quickly fell in love with this show regardless. It really emphasized diversity, which I found to be so cool. I loved seeing different cultural and religious practices being shown without heavy stereotyping. There were definitely a few points in the show that had me thinking “I know I’m too old to relate to a high schooler, but is this really how they act?” I actually told my mom at one point when we were watching (yes, I got her involved) that it seemed like a 40 year old man wrote some of the jokes. But overall, I really liked the storyline and all the different plot points of the series!

3. Too Hot to Handle on Netflix

★★★☆☆

IMDb Summary: On the shores of paradise, gorgeous singles meet and mingle. But there’s a twist. To win a $100,000 grand prize, they’ll have to give up sex.

Ok I promise you I didn’t think I’d get sucked in so easily. It’s easily comparable to Love Island in the sense that they’re all living together in a nice beach house on an island and looking for love, but there’s one catch that isn’t quite the same- no sex. The premise of the show sounds so mind numbingly stupid, but I promise it’s such a great show to watch when you don’t want to use too much brain power. I mean, they look at their own v-jays in the mirror and rub mud on each other. It’s pretty dumbed down. All the great looking people had me a little self conscious for a while, but the show had me constantly wondering what would happen next so I stuck around. The only thing I didn’t like was that the show often ended in weird places. If the whole series hadn’t been uploaded all at once, I would be so mad having to wait for the next episode.

May 18, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

How I’m Staying Busy During Isolation

In a time like this, it’s easy to lose sight of all the positivity around us. So many of us are worried about the pandemic (myself included) and it’s hard to take our eyes off of the news. But for my own sanity, I’ve kept myself busy everyday.

If you follow me on Instagram, you can keep up with everything I’m doing while in isolation. I’ve even created a highlight appropriately named “Stay Home” that shows you all the things I’ve been doing to keep busy.

Like I’ve said in previous posts, I’m back at my family home. That means I have a back yard again! I spent a day with my sister cleaning up the backyard by raking up leaves, picking up sticks, and cutting dead branches off trees. We’ve been talking about breaking out my projector and watching a movie outside once the weather is nicer.

Before things got too bad where I’m living, I went out and bought some coloring books. I know it’s sort of juvenile, but coloring is really calming and out of all the times I’ve needed to relax, I think now tops them. I got markers and colored pencils at first, then at a later trip I discovered watercolor pencils (WHAT?!). They’re super cool and really entertaining to mess around with. All you have to do is dip the tip into some water and color just like a normal colored pencil.

I also love cleaning my room! When I moved out of my family house, I was too busy making sure I had everything to clean up my old space. I wish you guys could have seen how much stuff was thrown around my room. I have a closet filled with shoes that may or may not even be in pairs, storage bins filled with old junk I probably haven’t even touched since my senior year of high school (3 years ago), and jewelry I’ll literally never wear balled up on my dresser. Because things are so hectic and scary right now, I can’t get out to donate anything just yet, but I know that once things have simmered down I’ll have a lot to get rid of.

Every day has been an adjustment for us at the house. Being in a small town where the entertainment typically comes from late night trips to Walmart has been hard. I haven’t been in a store in maybe three weeks, only going when my grandparents or parents need something.

My sister and I took a quick trip to our apartment the other day to grab a few more of our things. At this point, we’re pretty much moved back home. We keep grabbing more things and bringing them home just to have. We’re not sure when we’ll be back at the apartment full time though. We’ve been told by some locals that things aren’t looking too great there.

Like always, I hope you and yours are staying safe.

Can’t wait for things to go back to “normal.”

Untitled_Artwork 2

April 16, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

Coronavirus

Wherever you are, I hope you are staying safe, washing your hands (which you should have been doing regardless), and being mindful of others.

I’m currently spending week one of spring break at home with my family. We’ve been watching all the latest updates on COVID-19 and preparing for what may come. Are we bulk-buying toilet paper? No, but we are making sure we have what we need before it’s all picked over by the impulsive panic-buyers.

My university, like I said before, is on spring break this week. However, they have extended spring break another week and planned for online classes to begin the following week amidst positive coronavirus tests in our county as well as surrounding counties. While other universities have closed their doors for the semester, ours is planning to return to regular in-person lectures April 10th.

In the meantime, I ask everyone to practice good hygiene (I can’t believe I’m asking this) and be mindful of precautions established by the Center for Disease Control. You don’t need 50 rolls of Angel Soft or 20 boxes of Mac and Cheese… at least I didn’t see that on their website!

Also, for those who are not in the “risk group” for the virus, please keep in mind that while it may appear to be a simple cold that you will get over, you can easily pass it on to someone who cannot recover as easily, if at all.

Please stay home if you are sick.

To learn more information on COVID-19, click here to visit the CDC website.

Untitled_Artwork 2

March 13, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouise1 Comment

Books I NEED To Read

I’ve never really had the time (or interest) to read. I used to love reading, but as I grew older, I felt a shift where I almost never picked up a book unless I absolutely had to… and even that was rare. But I recently decided that I want to change that.

I took my biweekly trip to Target with my sister the other day. It was one of the first times in a while that I wasn’t being rushed, so I thought I’d stop at the book section. I found myself drowning in so many options. My sister was not getting me out of the aisle no matter how hard she tried.

Unfortunately, groceries were top priority, so I could only get one book that trip. After ten minutes of going back and forth, I finally chose Own Your Everyday by Jordan Lee Dooley. It’s a beautiful book so far. It’s all about overcoming pressure and getting past whatever is holding you back. I really needed to read it right now. Perfect book, perfect timing.

But, like I said, there were a ton of books that I wanted to read. I was sure to jot down all the titles and authors so I could remember them all and start checking them off a list. I even looked online for even more books I may want to read.

The Little Book of Otter Philosophy by Jennifer McCartney

The Joy of Missing Out by Tonya Dalton

The Art of Breaking Up by hitRECord

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin

Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

Let Love Have the Last Word: A Memoir by Common

10% Happier by Dan Harris

The World According to Mister Rogers by Fred Rogers

Make Sh*t Happen by Alex Martin

Untitled_Artwork 2

March 4, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

I Learned My Enneagram Type and It’s Wicked Accurate

In the past week, I’ve made several discoveries.

I like the smell of cactus flower and coconut.
I operate terribly when I pull all nighters.
I am a enneagram type four.

I never really got into enneagrams and all that jazz because for the longest time, it confused me. I didn’t really understand what it meant or where it came from. But I finally caved and did a little research.

For those who don’t know, an enneagram is “a system of personality typing that describes patterns in how people conceptualize the world and manage their emotions,” according to Truity.com.

To determine my enneagram number, I took this quiz. It was short and FREE!

I ended up being a type four. What does this mean? Is it accurate?

Type Four is known as the individualist. This person is “self-aware, sensitive, and reserved,” according to the Enneagram Institute. I think I’d have to go ahead and agree with this one. Anyone who knows me knows that especially in new environments I am very reserved and try to stay pretty self-aware.

“While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world.”

Ok, that hit me like a truck. I can’t agree with this anymore. I love having time to myself, but I don’t like being alone/lonely at the end of the day. Wanting someone to appreciate my “secret self” is my ultimate dream, and in recent months, I’ve found myself worrying that I’m too different for someone to appreciate me in that way… which is another characteristic of a type four. Wild, right?

Addictions include, “Over-indulgence in rich foods, sweets, alcohol to alter mood, to socialize, and for emotional consolation. Lack of physical activity. Bulimia. Depression. Tobacco, prescription drugs, or heroin for social anxiety. Cosmetic surgery to erase rejected features.”

I could really go in and tell you how accurate this is, but I’ll just touch on a few areas. Ok, so the first part- sweets. I have a decent sized candy jar in my room that is stocked up at all times. So you tell me.

Alcohol? I’ll be honest… I’ve indulged a few times as a coping mechanism. Not something I’m proud of, but it’s something that’s real accurate. There was a time where I fell off and found myself reaching for the bottle regularly. I cleaned up nice, though.

Finally, cosmetic surgery. I’ve said so many times that I want to get my nose straightened and smoothed out on the bridge. It has a really weird flat top and itty bitty bump that I’m not a fan of. I’ve also talked about getting lip filler because my bottom lip is the size of at least three of my top lip and it looks insane.

Finding out what my enneagram type is was really exciting. It really helped me see my life in a whole new light. Reading certain traits made me feel a lot better about the direction I am heading in and the way I behave in certain situations.

I highly encourage you to take the quiz and learn what type you are!

Untitled_Artwork 2

March 2, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

Here’s What Will Happen When You Fall in Love with Someone Who Can’t Love You

Short answer? It hurts like hell.

Long answer?

Things won’t feel right for a while. It’ll feel like you’re going through the motions. You’ll be checking your phone to see that they haven’t called or texted you. You’ll feel like you’re missing something in your day.

You’ll catch yourself thinking about them when you shouldn’t be. Any little thing will remind you of them- the shirt you wore that one time when they came over, the spot on the ceiling you looked at while they held you in their arms, the balled-up gum wrapper sitting on your bedside table. Everything becomes a trigger of a memory. You’ll know that you can’t keep thinking about them, but it’s out of your control.

You’ll wish you could talk to them. Maybe you can. Maybe they’ve said you can text them any time, but you know deep down that they said that just to be polite. Communicating is not something they really care about. If they did, they would’ve been honest with you from the start.

You’ll keep the photos for a while. Probably because you don’t want to let go. Or maybe because you’ve started to feel better but seeing their face washes away the flood gates and you feel all the feelings again. Their face will live in your phone until the feelings are such a distant memory that you forget they’re even there.

You’ll catch yourself falling even more. You know it won’t work, but that won’t stop you from thinking about how happy you two would be if.

You’ll sleep more. Being awake leads to overthinking. Any time you open your eyes, you’ll shut them again and force yourself to go back to sleep. You won’t want to be awake. You may even feel a pain in your stomach when you think about taking on the day.

You’ll look at things differently. That quote from some philosopher whose name you can’t pronounce might start to have a heavier meaning to you. It might get you thinking. The sad parts of cheesy Hallmark movies might hit too close to home.

You’ll decide to make a change. Changes don’t just come out of thin air. You have to work for them. You have to make them what you want them to be. You’ll see that the position you are in is no longer serving you and want to change that.

You’ll eventually feel ok again. All this pain subsides in due time. I can’t tell you that it’ll be quick or easy. I can just tell you it’ll be right. If you hurt for months, that’s what is right for your path. Days? Hours? Same thing. You’ll start to feel normal and maybe even better than before. You’ll go out more, experience more, love more. You’ll be more you. You’ll love yourself how you wished they would have loved you.

Untitled_Artwork 2

February 19, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouise2 Comments

You Don’t Earn Your Depression

The other day, I came across an article on Odyssey called “You Don’t Need A Reason For Your Depression, It’s Still Valid if Your Life is Technically ‘Good’“and it really got me thinking about a conversation I had with someone recently.

I was talking to a friend about how hard things have been and how badly I wished I wasn’t here. I vented about everything because I felt like I was talking to someone I could trust… someone who would help. Instead, I got the grand old “there are people who have it worse than you” lecture.

And in that moment, I felt disappointment and guilt. Disappointment because that wasn’t at all what I wanted or expected to hear. It was like I was reaching for help but they were stepping on my fingers. Guilt because now I felt terrible for taking everything I had for granted. Even guilt for speaking up about how I was feeling.

I spent a few days feeling awful about feeling awful.

Now I’m finally realizing how wrong that is. I mean, I always thought it was messed up for someone to say you’re not allowed to be upset because people have it worse than you. It’s like saying you can’t be happy because someone has it better than you. But something about the way it had been said to me that night was so manipulative that I was immediately convinced it was the truth.

My poor brain was doing flips. I kept shaming myself for overthinking or feeling pain. Any time I was sad, I told myself I was wrong. It added another layer of problems for me. It was like trying to put out a fire with more fire.

If you’re ever told that you shouldn’t be reacting a certain way because “someone else has it worse than you,” or “someone else would kill to be in the position you’re in,” know that your feelings are valid. It is not your job to base your pain on the pain of others. It is not your job to turn off your feelings at the flip of a switch because someone says you shouldn’t feel that way.

I hate what this person said to me. I hate this person’s mindset. But I don’t hate this person. I actually love them a lot. So, as you can imagine, it really hurts me that I can no longer feel comfortable talking to them about my struggles.

I didn’t want to write about this at first because I was afraid it would cause problems with the person who said it, but at the end of the day it needed to be said. Someone else might need to hear this. I hope the person who said this to me reads this. Let’s be honest, they’re probably going through some shit too.

Please, reach out to your friends. Make sure they’re ok. It isn’t easy to ask someone for help. By showing that interest yourself, it invites and reassures them.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

Untitled_Artwork 2

February 17, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

My Travel Bucket List

I’ve never sat down and thought about places I’d like to visit… at least not until I started spending more time with people who are all about traveling.

I’ve only ever really left the country once and I was too young to remember much of it. I hope to make more trips out of the country in the future (hence some of the locations I’ll mention), but the U.S. also has some gorgeous locations to explore!

1. Chicago

2. Los Angeles

3. Amsterdam

4. Santorini

5. Miami

6. New York City

7. Toronto

8. Brisbane

9. Paris

10. Barcelona

Do you have a bucket list of places to visit? Where would you go?

Untitled_Artwork 2

February 10, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

Let’s Talk

Hi guys! I missed Monday’s upload intentionally. I felt it wasn’t a genuine post. I wanted this week to be all about genuine, raw emotions. I have a lot to talk about today. I want to address a lot of things and catch you up to speed.

It’s been chilly in Cleveland! As I’m writing this, I’m watching snow flurries out of my apartment window. I knew this warm weather was too good to be true. A good friend once said he’d take snow over rain because “at least the snow is nice to look at,” so I’ve been trying to follow that perspective while I put on my winter coat in the mornings.

School has been a little hard this semester. I missed my first week of classes to be with my family after the sudden and unexpected passing of my uncle. I won’t go into detail on that, but I’ll just say it was a very hard time for everyone. Then, only a couple weeks later, I got extremely sick and couldn’t go to classes. That put me yet another week behind schedule. I try not to get overwhelmed by things out of my control, but it’s been tough lately. I ultimately decided to drop a class that felt nearly impossible to catch up in. I am now taking 12 credit hours rather than 15. I’m still considered a full-time student and I still have a lot of work to do!

I’ve been using this week to pinpoint what makes me happy. I’ve spent so much more time with friends, which is wonderful. I’ve gone out to dinner, sang in the shower, treated myself to lots of desserts, etc. It’s been great. I feel so refreshed. I really wanted to give myself a break from the mess that 2020 has been thus far.

Clearly, not everything is great right now. There’s some things I’m dealing with that I don’t want to make public. But I want you to know that it’s not “all good in the neighborhood” because I’d rather be transparent than portray a false image of my life.

Next week’s post will be up on Monday as usual. It’ll be back to routine I promise.

Untitled_Artwork 2

February 6, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment

Reflecting on My 2019 New Year’s Resolutions & Making New Ones For 2020

At the end of 2018, I wrote 2019 New Year’s Resolutions where I listed my goals for the incoming year. I’ll be honest with you- I forgot I even posted that until yesterday. I figured today I would go back and see if I succeeded with any of them.

2019’s Resolutions

Life

“Give myself more time to relax”

I knew I needed a lot more me time so I did all I could to make that happen. I gave myself breaks from going out with friends and family as a way to decompress from everything. Sometimes that meant staying in bed all day watching tiktoks and other times it meant writing content and planning out upcoming months. Very soothing.

“Don’t push things off until the last minute (plans, school, etc.)”

Oh, I’m the best at procrastinating, so I promise you no adjustments were made here. Just this last semester, I waited until the day before a final project was due to even look at the assignment. Cool, right?

“Get active”

I sort of got there. I do a lot of walking, and I did some exercising for a little while, but nothing crazy. My sister, Rianna, and I have talked about going to the gym more this year, so hopefully I’ll get that squared away.

“Do something out of my comfort zone”

I tried my best in 2019 to do things I wouldn’t usually do and it was a lot more difficult than I expected. Anxiety is a bitch, as I’m sure a lot of you know. But I actually am very proud of myself for the progress I made in 2019. I went to concerts with my sister and made new friends, both of which are usually terrifying to me.

“Be more confident in myself”

In 2019 I learned that this may be up and down for a while. Some days I loved myself and had so much confidence and other days it pained me to look in the mirror. If I look at things accumulatively, I suppose I was a bit more confident in myself in 2019 than the year prior.

“Read more”

I definitely read a lot of textbook material this year, but not a lot outside of school like I originally wanted to. It was one of those things where I just couldn’t find the time to open a book that wasn’t poetry.

“Journal”

I gave up on that one pretty quickly. I journaled whenever I was going through things and it helped me get over whatever was going on, but I never really journaled about positive things.

“Take lots of pictures”

Oh, trust me, I nailed this one. I love taking pictures to capture moments. I have so many pictures from the past year! I also have a lot of videos!

“Eat healthier”

I was back and forth with this one. Some days were good, but then I’d go into a dark hole filled with potato chips and chocolate bars. Yikes. I’ll do better this year. I promise!

“Drink more water”

After I got myself a cute reusable to take to all of my classes, I was never without water. I kept hydrated pretty easily and my skin thanked me. Now if I go a couple days without drinking lots of water, you can tell by the inevitable volcano-like pimples I get on my face!

“Stop using plastic straws”

I did really well for a while with this one by carrying my reusable metal straws with me wherever I went, but then it became a chore and- sad to say- I failed. I’m trying again in 2020, so we’ll see if I do any better this year.

Blog

“Follow a posting schedule”

I was able to do it for a while, but life got a little chaotic and I stopped. It was on/off for a few months, but I still got posts out at least a couple times a month, I think.

“Only post what makes me proud”

I’ve gotten better at making sure my content is something I’m truly proud of instead of what I think I should be posting for either clicks or approval. I think I’ve really narrowed down how I want to run this site and what kind of media should be on here. 2020 will bring a lot of changes!

“Be more confident in my writing”

Some days I was, others I wasn’t so much, but looking back at all I got posted in a year, I’m very proud of myself for keeping up with it more than I had any year before.

“Post at least once a week”

Haha. Well we all know that didn’t happen.

“Meet more fellow bloggers”

Yes! I met so many awesome bloggers who I’d consider good friends of mine now! They helped me figure out where I was wanting my blog to go and what I would have to do to get there. They’ve also given me a lot of inspiration and motivation.

“Take risks with my work”

I definitely took a few risks with things I wanted to do with my blog and some really paid off. I also made a lot of plans for things that I want to do that will take more time. But I guess the idea for said “risks” were made in 2019, so I’ll count those too.

2020’s Resolutions

Life

Eat healthier

Go to the gym

Devote more time to my studies

Gain more confidence in myself

Present myself in a kinder light

Donate a lot of my clothes that I don’t wear anymore

Travel

Blog

Venture into other types of content

Share more photos

Write about unique experiences

Follow a regular posting schedule

Do something huge

Untitled_Artwork 2

January 4, 2020August 3, 2020

megannlouiseLeave a comment