Reflecting on My 2019 New Year’s Resolutions & Making New Ones For 2020

At the end of 2018, I wrote 2019 New Year’s Resolutions where I listed my goals for the incoming year. I’ll be honest with you- I forgot I even posted that until yesterday. I figured today I would go back and see if I succeeded with any of them.

2019’s Resolutions

Life

“Give myself more time to relax”

I knew I needed a lot more me time so I did all I could to make that happen. I gave myself breaks from going out with friends and family as a way to decompress from everything. Sometimes that meant staying in bed all day watching tiktoks and other times it meant writing content and planning out upcoming months. Very soothing.

“Don’t push things off until the last minute (plans, school, etc.)”

Oh, I’m the best at procrastinating, so I promise you no adjustments were made here. Just this last semester, I waited until the day before a final project was due to even look at the assignment. Cool, right?

“Get active”

I sort of got there. I do a lot of walking, and I did some exercising for a little while, but nothing crazy. My sister, Rianna, and I have talked about going to the gym more this year, so hopefully I’ll get that squared away.

“Do something out of my comfort zone”

I tried my best in 2019 to do things I wouldn’t usually do and it was a lot more difficult than I expected. Anxiety is a bitch, as I’m sure a lot of you know. But I actually am very proud of myself for the progress I made in 2019. I went to concerts with my sister and made new friends, both of which are usually terrifying to me.

“Be more confident in myself”

In 2019 I learned that this may be up and down for a while. Some days I loved myself and had so much confidence and other days it pained me to look in the mirror. If I look at things accumulatively, I suppose I was a bit more confident in myself in 2019 than the year prior.

“Read more”

I definitely read a lot of textbook material this year, but not a lot outside of school like I originally wanted to. It was one of those things where I just couldn’t find the time to open a book that wasn’t poetry.

“Journal”

I gave up on that one pretty quickly. I journaled whenever I was going through things and it helped me get over whatever was going on, but I never really journaled about positive things.

“Take lots of pictures”

Oh, trust me, I nailed this one. I love taking pictures to capture moments. I have so many pictures from the past year! I also have a lot of videos!

“Eat healthier”

I was back and forth with this one. Some days were good, but then I’d go into a dark hole filled with potato chips and chocolate bars. Yikes. I’ll do better this year. I promise!

“Drink more water”

After I got myself a cute reusable to take to all of my classes, I was never without water. I kept hydrated pretty easily and my skin thanked me. Now if I go a couple days without drinking lots of water, you can tell by the inevitable volcano-like pimples I get on my face!

“Stop using plastic straws”

I did really well for a while with this one by carrying my reusable metal straws with me wherever I went, but then it became a chore and- sad to say- I failed. I’m trying again in 2020, so we’ll see if I do any better this year.

Blog

“Follow a posting schedule”

I was able to do it for a while, but life got a little chaotic and I stopped. It was on/off for a few months, but I still got posts out at least a couple times a month, I think.

“Only post what makes me proud”

I’ve gotten better at making sure my content is something I’m truly proud of instead of what I think I should be posting for either clicks or approval. I think I’ve really narrowed down how I want to run this site and what kind of media should be on here. 2020 will bring a lot of changes!

“Be more confident in my writing”

Some days I was, others I wasn’t so much, but looking back at all I got posted in a year, I’m very proud of myself for keeping up with it more than I had any year before.

“Post at least once a week”

Haha. Well we all know that didn’t happen.

“Meet more fellow bloggers”

Yes! I met so many awesome bloggers who I’d consider good friends of mine now! They helped me figure out where I was wanting my blog to go and what I would have to do to get there. They’ve also given me a lot of inspiration and motivation.

“Take risks with my work”

I definitely took a few risks with things I wanted to do with my blog and some really paid off. I also made a lot of plans for things that I want to do that will take more time. But I guess the idea for said “risks” were made in 2019, so I’ll count those too.

2020’s Resolutions

Life

Eat healthier

Go to the gym

Devote more time to my studies

Gain more confidence in myself

Present myself in a kinder light

Donate a lot of my clothes that I don’t wear anymore

Travel

Blog

Venture into other types of content

Share more photos

Write about unique experiences

Follow a regular posting schedule

Do something huge

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

Paying Homage to 2019

Can you believe this is my third year writing my yearly recap? I can’t!

So for those who don’t know, at the end of every year I like to highlight some of my highs and lows of the year (see Paying Homage to 2017, Paying Homage to 2018). I started in 2017 as a casual post, not thinking I would keep up with it the following years. I always consider the third time to be what establishes something as a tradition, so here we are guys! It’s officially a Megann Louise tradition!

In last year’s recap, I said I was going to make 2019 my bitch. Well, we win some, we lose some, right? Whenever I look back on this year I get a bad taste in my mouth. I know a lot of great things happened, but I also experienced a lot of heartache. I’d consider this year to be one of great growth for me.

At the start of the year, I got to see Cody Ko and Noel Miller live with my sister and friend James. Their Youtube videos were what got me through a lot of hard stuff so it was wild that I was in the same room as them.

In May I finished my first year of college at CSU. I ended up making the Dean’s List, which I would not have expected at the beginning of the year. I finally decided on the right major for me in that time too- communication.

I moved out of my first apartment in May, too. It was the ending of an era, I suppose. That place became my home. I made so many wild memories in apartment 509. As sad as I was leaving, I felt a weird sense of relief too. I was leaving behind a piece of me, which was sort of sad, but I knew I was starting a new chapter.

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In July, I surprised my sister with a party for her 18th birthday. It was pretty last minute, but all her friends pitched in and helped me make things work. I was so grateful for everybody’s help in making it such a success. Being able to do something like that for my sister was so special to me.

Then there was a bump in the road. I said goodbye to a nearly two year relationship. Things just don’t work out sometimes and it’s for the best. I still have a ridiculous amount of love and respect for my ex. He’s a great guy…. just not my soulmate. And that’s alright. It took me a while to move past the heartbreak, which is to be expected when you were with someone for a long time. He is genuinely one of my best friends and I’m so lucky to still have him to confide in whenever I need him. While some would expect me to be sad that the relationship ended, I’m glad that I’m still lucky enough to have a friend in him.

For a while after the break up, I was in a really dark place and couldn’t seem to find the way out. I didn’t feel half as confident as I once did. I suppose it’s normal (but in no way healthy) to dog on yourself after a break up… at least for a little while. After I was finally able to get myself out of bed, I was going out to get my mind off of everything. That’s where the fun came in.

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First, we went to see Granger Smith. The story behind that one is a little random. We had gone to Walmart and there were two tour buses in the parking lot (which obviously isn’t a normal thing). Turns out Granger was at Walmart! We didn’t get to see him there, but we took it as a sign that we should buy two tickets to the show that was only hours away.  I have to say that that was one of the best nights I’d had in a while. The rush we felt after buying the tickets was insane. We immediately ran to get ready and blasted Granger throughout the house.

The very next night, we were invited to tag along to a Foreigner concert. I didn’t know too many songs (I know, what’s wrong with me?!) but I still had such a good time. I think that’s one of the first nights where I was able to fully drop every bad thought at the door and enjoy myself.

In late August, I moved back to Cleveland with my little sister for school. We got a new place with two other roommates that’s a lot nicer than the one I lived in the year before. I started what is the second semester of my sophomore year. Rianna, my sister, began her first semester as a freshman! The semester came with a lot of adjusting for us both and somehow we made it through all of the headaches.

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For the second year in a row, my dad, sister, and I went to the Cleveland Air Show. When I was little, my dad always talked about taking us. Then finally last year, we got to go. I’ll be honest- I didn’t think I’d enjoy it all that much. But it was so much fun, that I was jumping up and down over getting to go again this year. I’d love for this to become a tradition!

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To reward ourselves for kicking butt the first few weeks of school, Rianna and I went to our first Cleveland Indian’s game! I’ve never been a die hard baseball fan, but the atmosphere was so fun and I really enjoyed myself. I was still trying to recover from a lot mentally so that night was a breath of fresh air for me. Fun fact- I also bought my first legal drink at the game!

School got progressively more challenging and I went into a downward spiral. I started doing things I swore to myself I would never do. I just lost control of who I was. That’s when I reintroduced myself to faith. I let myself stray from religion in the past few years and by coming back, I felt myself finding closure and motivation to overcome everything I was facing.

Then I did something out of my comfort zone. After having several deep talks with my friend Kaleb, I found motivation to share my story. I went live on Instagram. I came clean about everything I had been feeling because I hoped being transparent would not only help me, but help someone watching. I was open about things that most people would consider taboo. Laying it all out on the table really helped me see the bigger picture. I even got some super sweet messages from people who watched to livestreams. There was so much support and understanding. It was beautiful. I don’t imagine I’ll ever get over that.

Shortly after, I reconnected with a friend I made during my first semester of school at CSU. We got lunch and caught each other up on our lives. We both had some wild stories to tell and a lot of laughs to share. I was really excited to have this friend in my life because he was absolutely hysterical and genuinely a great guy to be around. Fast forward a couple months, AND WE’RE DATING. Wild, right?

I’m so excited to be saying goodbye to this transformative decade. I’ve got a lot of goals for 2020. I want to make it a year of hard work and big steps. I refuse to end 2020 in the same place that I start it. It’s time to grow, baby!

Thank you to everyone who stuck around for another year as well as those who stumbled upon my site this year! You guys make each and every year so special. I hope you all have a magnificent new year and get all you want and need!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

A Mood Board For My Dream Home

Something that’s really been motivating me lately has been making plans for the future. I love scrolling through Pinterest and telling myself, “this is what I’m working so hard for. I’m going to get here.” Anybody else?

My biggest motivation of them all is the thought of working my butt off to be able to buy a house and decorate it exactly how I’ve always wanted. Whenever I’m struggling in class or having a bad day all around, I like to scroll through Pinterest and find more inspiration for my dream home. It’s so calming.

I thought today I would share some of my favorite pins so far because I’m getting really eager to buy and design a home! You can definitely tell what style I’m going for!

CLICK HERE TO FOLLOW ME ON PINTEREST!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

 

 

To The Girl Going Through A Break-up

I see you.

I know you’re getting frustrated with yourself for crying at night. You want a peaceful night without the pain. But it’s ok to cry. It’s ok and completely normal to grieve the loss of something that cannot come back. Don’t be ashamed.

I promise that you’re healing.

It doesn’t come overnight. You may feel like you’re in the same rut day in and day out, but you’re making progress. I promise you that it won’t feel like it at first and that’ll suck… but it’s happening.

So cry.

Cry because it’s good for you. Cry and eat all the chocolate you can find. Then go buy more. That’s ok.

But here’s what you can’t do.

You can’t force them to come back. You can’t beg. You can’t forget your worth.

You have to focus on your own healing. Figure out how you will move forward. You don’t need to know right away, either. You can spend some time being lost. You’re allowed to be lost. If you were never lost, how can you be found?

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

 

Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. Food is 100% up my alley so this holiday was practically made for me! But before I start licking plates clean, I want to go into who/what I am thankful for this year.

My family.

I can’t thank my family enough for everything they’ve done for me. In the last year, I’ve gone through a lot of struggles and they’ve been by my side through it all. They make bad days good and good days even better. I’ve always been able to call on them whenever I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with.

My hometown best friends.

My best friends from home have been holding it down for years. They’re some of the best people I could ever surround myself with. They always drop everything they’re doing to make sure I’m good and I can’t say thank you enough. I have so many great memories with them and I hope to make a lot more in the future.

My college friends.

I’ve met so many awesome people in college and they’re some of the greatest friends I could ask for. I could trust these people with my life. I was so blessed to have met these people in my classes.

School.

Having a good education is very important to me. I am so lucky and blessed to be able to further my education at Cleveland State University. It’s almost always a stressful headache but it’s all been worth it at the end of the day.

You guys.

Everyone who takes the time out of their day to read my posts are AMAZING! I am so unbelievably thankful for each and every one of you! It feels like I’ve made so many friends through blogging and I hope I can keep doing this for years to come.

What are you thankful for this year?

I hope that you and yours have an amazing Thanksgiving full of great food and even better memories!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

What To Put in Your Spooky Basket!

If you’ve been living under a rock, you may have missed the spooky basket trend that’s been circulating social media. To sum it up, it’s just a little basket of goodies that people get their significant other in October as a sweet little “thinking of you” gift.

I’ve seen so many people swooning over them that I thought I’d help everyone out and come up with little things you could put in a spooky basket for your friends or special someone! The best part of these spooky baskets is that you don’t have to break the bank to show someone you’re thinking about them this spooky season!

  • Candles
  • Chocolates
  • Candy Corn
  • Stuffed Animal
  • Letter
  • Slippers
  • Fuzzy Socks
  • Blanket
  • Face Masks
  • Flowers
  • Perfume
  • Crocs (I’ve seen this a lot, I don’t know why)
  • Gift Cards
  • Leggings
  • Makeup
  • Costume Accessories
  • Jewelry
  • Photos

You’ve still got time to whip up a spooky basket of your own! If you use any of these ideas or come up with your own, please share! I love seeing spooky baskets, as weird as that sounds!

Happy spooky season!

How Do I Get Through A Painful Break-up?

Asking for a friend… but not really.

As some of you may have seen, I had written a piece about how I was coping with an excrutiating break-up. I didn’t know which way was up anymore. I was clinging onto the idea of something that was so far gone it was laughable. I later read through the post and after speaking to some friends and family (and my ex), I decided that the post, however honest, did more harm than good. So in less than 24 hours, the post was removed. Although I am very puzzled about the behavior of my ex and the recent events that have taken place, I still have the utmost respect for him; especially online.

However, I did say in that post that when I signed up to be a blogger, I pretty much signed up to share some of my personal experiences and emotions with everyone. Everyone who has told me what a beautiful couple we were deserves to know that it’s over. As much as I hate to write a post talking about my break-up and the hell I’ve been going through, I have hope that it will reach someone who is going through the same thing to show that everyone goes through it at some point and it’s ok to grieve in a different way than most do.

I, for one, had no idea where to start. This was my longest relationship (nearing 2 years) so I had never been so attached and comfortable with someone before. To shut off that part of my brain that was so used to talking everyday and cuddling every night was a huge request. I felt myself being backed into a corner where no matter what I did, I was going to lose. So something in me told me to go down fighting. I said things I shouldn’t have, and did things that were out of character for me. Again, let me remind everyone that people go through break-ups in different ways. I happened to live in a state of panic for weeks. Panic about my future, about having to tell other people, about the embarrassment of a failed relationship (yeah I was embarrassed. So stupid, right?!).

There were days where I lashed out at my family, friends, and ex because of my inability to process my emotions. It was like every second there was a new thought in my head that triggered a new feeling. My mind was working against me. I think the best time I’ve been able to describe that feeling was yesterday when I spoke to my dad on the phone. I told him I recognized my emotions were not my own. I felt like someone had taken over and I clocked out. Anything I said, did, or felt was purely out of my control. Maybe nobody will understand that and you’ll think I’m crazy, but it was just like going into autopilot to cope. The only difference is if this was a plane, we would have crashed.

I’m a very emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I love, I love hard. I jump the gun sometimes, but either way, the feelings are there. The worst part of that (and something I hope to change) is that I devote all my time and energy into my relationship. I’m constantly thinking about this person and what I can do to show them I love them. Thinking about them and having them in my life is an addiction. So when I get blindsided, I have to force myself to stop thinking that way. I still haven’t gotten to that point yet if I’m being honest. I still think about “my bub” and how I would kill for some more time with him. He would always tell me about how the bridge of my nose was cold so I still touch my nose and think about how sweet and innocent those moments were. But I’m taking baby steps.

My friend David put it perfectly. He said that he was my drug. Now whenever I think about texting or calling him to beg like a loser, I’m relapsing. So I finally, after weeks of making an utter fool of myself, decided to quit cold turkey. No contact. It’s time to focus on me and all the goals I’ve ever had for myself. It was the kick in the ass that I needed.

To get a little deep here, I’m worried about myself. I’ve spent nearly two years recieving attention, happiness, love, and understanding from someone special and now I have to learn how to give that to myself. I started dating this person when I was 19. I was still new to college life and being an adult, so I was still growing. Now I’m 21. I grew along side him and figured out life with him in it. I guess I just feel like I took two steps back because now I have to figure out all of this stuff about myself again, just without him. Again, maybe what I’m saying won’t make sense to anyone since we handle things differently, but I’m trying to be transparent here.

I know I’ll get through this because I’ve gotten through far worse. I never made it out 100% like I was before, but that’s the point, right? Pain teaches a lesson. I’m ready to see what the world has in store for me. I’m already finding the motivation to do so much for myself that I usually dismissed. This could be my time to shine. I’m just frightened over the time and effort it will take to get to that point.

I absolutely love that man with every inch of my being. My friends and family say I shouldn’t say that anymore. Some say I shouldn’t even love him anymore. But I know that my love for him will never go away. It may change, but it will always- ALWAYS- be there. He was my best friend and partner in crime for so long. He listened to me whenever I was upset, held me when I felt I was falling apart, and put me back on track when I was losing sight of things. He knew about my faults and still chose to love me. If I could say anything to him, it would be thank you. He helped me feel like I was beautiful and special, even if I lost that feeling when he left. In the time that we were together, I gained so much confidence in myself that I could not have found without him and his constant reassurance. It helped me with a lot like my first apartment by myself, my first year away from my family, my first full year of college, etc.

I refuse to bash him. We weren’t perfect for each other and we both made mistakes that hurt the other person, but he was my favorite person for two years. He was my protector, caretaker, lover, best friend, and so much more. Even though I’ve messed up a lot recently with how I’ve gone about things, I don’t think it’s fair anymore to put him down.

It feels good to speak highly of him… to be able to say I was lucky enough to fall in love with someone like him makes me happy. But for the time being, there will be no more posts about my break-up or anything about my ex.

I will most likely be taking a break from writing while I get myself out of a dark place, and I hope everyone understands. I may come back on occasion for updates or if I feel like I’m at a good spot at that time. Otherwise, I will be gone.

If you want to keep tabs on me and make sure I’m not losing my head, follow me on Instagram and Twitter (@_megannlouise_) for the latest updates on my life.

I also have a Facebook page which I will try to use more often now. To like the page, click here.