To The Girl Going Through A Break-up

I see you.

I know you’re getting frustrated with yourself for crying at night. You want a peaceful night without the pain. But it’s ok to cry. It’s ok and completely normal to grieve the loss of something that cannot come back. Don’t be ashamed.

I promise that you’re healing.

It doesn’t come overnight. You may feel like you’re in the same rut day in and day out, but you’re making progress. I promise you that it won’t feel like it at first and that’ll suck… but it’s happening.

So cry.

Cry because it’s good for you. Cry and eat all the chocolate you can find. Then go buy more. That’s ok.

But here’s what you can’t do.

You can’t force them to come back. You can’t beg. You can’t forget your worth.

You have to focus on your own healing. Figure out how you will move forward. You don’t need to know right away, either. You can spend some time being lost. You’re allowed to be lost. If you were never lost, how can you be found?

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

 

Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. Food is 100% up my alley so this holiday was practically made for me! But before I start licking plates clean, I want to go into who/what I am thankful for this year.

My family.

I can’t thank my family enough for everything they’ve done for me. In the last year, I’ve gone through a lot of struggles and they’ve been by my side through it all. They make bad days good and good days even better. I’ve always been able to call on them whenever I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with.

My hometown best friends.

My best friends from home have been holding it down for years. They’re some of the best people I could ever surround myself with. They always drop everything they’re doing to make sure I’m good and I can’t say thank you enough. I have so many great memories with them and I hope to make a lot more in the future.

My college friends.

I’ve met so many awesome people in college and they’re some of the greatest friends I could ask for. I could trust these people with my life. I was so blessed to have met these people in my classes.

School.

Having a good education is very important to me. I am so lucky and blessed to be able to further my education at Cleveland State University. It’s almost always a stressful headache but it’s all been worth it at the end of the day.

You guys.

Everyone who takes the time out of their day to read my posts are AMAZING! I am so unbelievably thankful for each and every one of you! It feels like I’ve made so many friends through blogging and I hope I can keep doing this for years to come.

What are you thankful for this year?

I hope that you and yours have an amazing Thanksgiving full of great food and even better memories!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

What To Put in Your Spooky Basket!

If you’ve been living under a rock, you may have missed the spooky basket trend that’s been circulating social media. To sum it up, it’s just a little basket of goodies that people get their significant other in October as a sweet little “thinking of you” gift.

I’ve seen so many people swooning over them that I thought I’d help everyone out and come up with little things you could put in a spooky basket for your friends or special someone! The best part of these spooky baskets is that you don’t have to break the bank to show someone you’re thinking about them this spooky season!

  • Candles
  • Chocolates
  • Candy Corn
  • Stuffed Animal
  • Letter
  • Slippers
  • Fuzzy Socks
  • Blanket
  • Face Masks
  • Flowers
  • Perfume
  • Crocs (I’ve seen this a lot, I don’t know why)
  • Gift Cards
  • Leggings
  • Makeup
  • Costume Accessories
  • Jewelry
  • Photos

You’ve still got time to whip up a spooky basket of your own! If you use any of these ideas or come up with your own, please share! I love seeing spooky baskets, as weird as that sounds!

Happy spooky season!

How Do I Get Through A Painful Break-up?

Asking for a friend… but not really.

As some of you may have seen, I had written a piece about how I was coping with an excrutiating break-up. I didn’t know which way was up anymore. I was clinging onto the idea of something that was so far gone it was laughable. I later read through the post and after speaking to some friends and family (and my ex), I decided that the post, however honest, did more harm than good. So in less than 24 hours, the post was removed. Although I am very puzzled about the behavior of my ex and the recent events that have taken place, I still have the utmost respect for him; especially online.

However, I did say in that post that when I signed up to be a blogger, I pretty much signed up to share some of my personal experiences and emotions with everyone. Everyone who has told me what a beautiful couple we were deserves to know that it’s over. As much as I hate to write a post talking about my break-up and the hell I’ve been going through, I have hope that it will reach someone who is going through the same thing to show that everyone goes through it at some point and it’s ok to grieve in a different way than most do.

I, for one, had no idea where to start. This was my longest relationship (nearing 2 years) so I had never been so attached and comfortable with someone before. To shut off that part of my brain that was so used to talking everyday and cuddling every night was a huge request. I felt myself being backed into a corner where no matter what I did, I was going to lose. So something in me told me to go down fighting. I said things I shouldn’t have, and did things that were out of character for me. Again, let me remind everyone that people go through break-ups in different ways. I happened to live in a state of panic for weeks. Panic about my future, about having to tell other people, about the embarrassment of a failed relationship (yeah I was embarrassed. So stupid, right?!).

There were days where I lashed out at my family, friends, and ex because of my inability to process my emotions. It was like every second there was a new thought in my head that triggered a new feeling. My mind was working against me. I think the best time I’ve been able to describe that feeling was yesterday when I spoke to my dad on the phone. I told him I recognized my emotions were not my own. I felt like someone had taken over and I clocked out. Anything I said, did, or felt was purely out of my control. Maybe nobody will understand that and you’ll think I’m crazy, but it was just like going into autopilot to cope. The only difference is if this was a plane, we would have crashed.

I’m a very emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I love, I love hard. I jump the gun sometimes, but either way, the feelings are there. The worst part of that (and something I hope to change) is that I devote all my time and energy into my relationship. I’m constantly thinking about this person and what I can do to show them I love them. Thinking about them and having them in my life is an addiction. So when I get blindsided, I have to force myself to stop thinking that way. I still haven’t gotten to that point yet if I’m being honest. I still think about “my bub” and how I would kill for some more time with him. He would always tell me about how the bridge of my nose was cold so I still touch my nose and think about how sweet and innocent those moments were. But I’m taking baby steps.

My friend David put it perfectly. He said that he was my drug. Now whenever I think about texting or calling him to beg like a loser, I’m relapsing. So I finally, after weeks of making an utter fool of myself, decided to quit cold turkey. No contact. It’s time to focus on me and all the goals I’ve ever had for myself. It was the kick in the ass that I needed.

To get a little deep here, I’m worried about myself. I’ve spent nearly two years recieving attention, happiness, love, and understanding from someone special and now I have to learn how to give that to myself. I started dating this person when I was 19. I was still new to college life and being an adult, so I was still growing. Now I’m 21. I grew along side him and figured out life with him in it. I guess I just feel like I took two steps back because now I have to figure out all of this stuff about myself again, just without him. Again, maybe what I’m saying won’t make sense to anyone since we handle things differently, but I’m trying to be transparent here.

I know I’ll get through this because I’ve gotten through far worse. I never made it out 100% like I was before, but that’s the point, right? Pain teaches a lesson. I’m ready to see what the world has in store for me. I’m already finding the motivation to do so much for myself that I usually dismissed. This could be my time to shine. I’m just frightened over the time and effort it will take to get to that point.

I absolutely love that man with every inch of my being. My friends and family say I shouldn’t say that anymore. Some say I shouldn’t even love him anymore. But I know that my love for him will never go away. It may change, but it will always- ALWAYS- be there. He was my best friend and partner in crime for so long. He listened to me whenever I was upset, held me when I felt I was falling apart, and put me back on track when I was losing sight of things. He knew about my faults and still chose to love me. If I could say anything to him, it would be thank you. He helped me feel like I was beautiful and special, even if I lost that feeling when he left. In the time that we were together, I gained so much confidence in myself that I could not have found without him and his constant reassurance. It helped me with a lot like my first apartment by myself, my first year away from my family, my first full year of college, etc.

I refuse to bash him. We weren’t perfect for each other and we both made mistakes that hurt the other person, but he was my favorite person for two years. He was my protector, caretaker, lover, best friend, and so much more. Even though I’ve messed up a lot recently with how I’ve gone about things, I don’t think it’s fair anymore to put him down.

It feels good to speak highly of him… to be able to say I was lucky enough to fall in love with someone like him makes me happy. But for the time being, there will be no more posts about my break-up or anything about my ex.

I will most likely be taking a break from writing while I get myself out of a dark place, and I hope everyone understands. I may come back on occasion for updates or if I feel like I’m at a good spot at that time. Otherwise, I will be gone.

If you want to keep tabs on me and make sure I’m not losing my head, follow me on Instagram and Twitter (@_megannlouise_) for the latest updates on my life.

I also have a Facebook page which I will try to use more often now. To like the page, click here.

 

 

My August Goals

We’re a few days into August and it’s time to manifest some goals. I feel like there’s no better month for these goals to come to fruition than my birth-month (btw, today’s my 21st birthday), so let’s all cross our fingers that some miracles happen!

August is a busy month for me for sure. I turn 21, move to a new apartment, and start another semester of college all within a matter of days. I’ll barely get a chance to take a breath until September rolls around! But with so many things going on come so many chances to open doors for myself. Let’s get into my goals for this month.

Firstly, I want to restyle my wardrobe. My taste has changed a lot since I’ve really got shopping so a lot of my clothes are just not cutting it for me anymore. I really want to go through everything I own before I move to my new apartment. I’d love to donate a ton of my clothes because they’re all wearable. I might sell some others to be able to replentish my closet.

I want to have a good birthday. I only turn 21 once, right? I’m not big on drinking so I probably won’t be blacking out or anything, but I love using birthdays as an excuse to have an over-the-top good time with friends and family.

Another goal for the month is to create a safe place in my new apartment. I’ll be sharing the apartment with three other girls so I already expect my room to be my number one place to go whenever I’m there. I want my bedroom to be cozy and welcoming as soon as you walk in, so hopefully I’ll be able to pull it off. I’m really big into creams, whites, and pinks so I’m really tying those into my room. I’ve already gotten a lot of what I need for my room so I have a good idea of how everything is going to look. I’m super excited to see the end result though since I’m so into interior decorating!

I start school in a couple weeks so I’m hoping to start the semester off well. I miss campus a lot and all the friends I made last year. I hope to feel my life fall into place once I’m in my classes and studying what I love.

This month I also want to grow my blog and social media. I’m finally starting to look at my social media as a business more than a personal account. I want to start incorporating my blog into my different social media more and building off of what I’ve already started. I’ve also been wanting to start posting on my Youtube channel for real. I posted one video, cringed a day later, then deleted it and pretended it never happened. Once I’m all moved in at my new place I want to try all that again.

Well, I’m off to enjoy my 21st!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

 

 

Would I Couple-Up With Love Island USA?

Popular UK dating reality show, Love Island, has come to the states! It follows the journey of singles finding love and trying to win over America’s hearts in order to win the grand prize of $100,000.

I wasn’t sure at first if I would be interested in watching Love Island, but I gave it a chance and was immediately hooked. Now I have the app on my phone to vote in real time and I’ve even gotten Zach to watch it with me before. I’ve also got my feelings about each contestant (other than the two new girls that will be introduced properly tonight.

If you haven’t watched the show yet, this next part will make absolutely no sense to you so maybe skip over it.

I’ve got huge heart eyes for Elizabeth and Zac. If they ever split up I will be really sad. They obviously have an undoubtable connection since nobody on the island have yet to split them up. When Elizabeth went on her date with Cormac, she was really honest with him about how she felt about Zac.

I wasn’t a fan of Mike and I’m honestly happy he was the first to be dropped off the island. I got weird vibes from him from the beginning and it kept growing as it went on. Sometimes in his confessionals I felt like he came across as more human, but it still didn’t cut it for me.

Cashel and Kyra seem a little snakey to me. Cashel and Caro had a cute thing going the first night and then Kyra just weaseled her way in between it before it even started. I get that’s how to show works, but the girls seemed to have a friendship thing going on from the start and for Kyra not to talk to Caro first was shady.

I liked Caro at first. She seemed like she genuinely wanted to find love. But now she comes across as a little sneaky. Like she’s just trying to find a guy to win the money or something. Maybe I’m wrong but that’s how I feel so far. She also has this Cardi B persona that feels so exaggerated. If that’s really how she is, then all power to her. But if she’s putting up this sassy Cardi B front to gain interest from the men or even America, she needs to turn it down.

Alana and Yamen… ok. I guess they’re ok together but I really think Alana is taking their coupling much more seriously than Yamen and he’s going to break her heart when he tries exploring his options. I guess we’ll see what happens.

Weston and Mallory aren’t really hitting the spot for me. I thought it was an interesting couple at first and I saw things slowly go down hill. I mean, they’ve literally friendzoned each other already. I think he’ll get a little more interested in the new girls coming tonight… maybe Katrina?

Alexandra and Dylan are growing on me but I don’t feel as good about them as I do Elizabeth and Zac yet. I’m rooting for them though. I think it would be a cute couple if they stick around, you know?

_

Personally, I can’t imagine being in that situation. I would hate getting to know someone and knowing that any of your “friends” could just take him away and nothing is wrong about it because it’s the point of the game. I love the idea as a tv show though. I can see why it was so popular in the UK. As much as I like how quickly we get updates and answers by having the show on every weeknight, I feel like after a while it’ll become overkill. I know I’ll spend every night watching the episodes so I’m sure I’ll get exhausted.

If you like the Bachelor/Bachelorette or Big Brother, this is like a hybrid of the two. I’ve really liked it so far and I already know who I want to win the whole thing (*cough cough* Elizabeth and Zac).

If you haven’t already, give this show a watch tonight at 8/7c. If Love Island was a person, I’d be coupled up! Let me know what you think!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/