Posted on September 4, 2018
This past week seemed to drag on unlike any other week has. It was my first week of school since December of last year. Going from a community college, to no schooling, to a large university was very intimidating for me. I didn’t know what to expected. Fortunately enough, I didn’t have too hard of a time adjusting.
The Saturday before classes started, CSU hosted Magnus Fest (Magnus is the name of our mascot). It’s basically a piss poor welcome party for freshmen and transfer students. I could complain about everything that was so awful about it, but I’ll keep it to myself. Just know it was painful to watch pan out. Although the actual event was a disaster, I did meet new people and learn about what is offered around campus.
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t shaking to core on my first day. I had to ride the RTA for the first time, know where my stop was, know how to get to my building, and get to class before I was late. Spoiler alert: almost didn’t do that. But I made it to class with roughly 3 minutes to spare. And in my attempt to get to class, I met someone in my class trying just as hard to make it on time. Hey Andrew, if you’re reading this!
Day one wasn’t exactly how I expected it to be, but that’s no surprise. At least I survived. If I could do it once, I could do it a few hundred more times. To celebrate making it through our first day, Zach and I went out to dinner. But of course nothing can work out in our favor. My order made me sick to my stomach, and Zach’s order was served raw. What a way to end our first day.
Going into the second day, I went into things a lot more comfortably. I knew where my class was, when it was, and where the closest bus stops were to the building. However, nothing would’ve prepared me for a 3.5 hour class on the history of film. Let me tell you- total snooze fest. After about an hour and a half of lecture, I start to catch myself dozing off. Thank goodness for the ten minute break we get though.
Wednesday I have the same schedule as Monday so I knew where everything was, and I was finally out of the “syllabus” classes (you know, when the teachers all read the same classroom rules and go over every little thing they expect from you this semester). So Wednesday was officially the first day of learning and all that. I enjoyed it. I missed taking notes and listening to lectures when I took my mini hiatus from school. It felt really good getting back into school. I know it won’t last long, but I love it so far.
Thursday was yet another 3.5 hour class. It was in the same room as my Tuesday lecture, but I had a different professor. I liked this one a lot more just because he swore a lot and had a really bubbly personality. As much as I hate what the class is about (Analysis of Film Language), I know it’ll be easier to get through with such a charismatic professor.
Luckily, Friday wasn’t bad. I only have two classes that day, so I get done at 2:20. For me, that’s a blessing since every other day I end at around 5. I was able to get home at a good time and unwind. I originally had plans to go home and see my family over the long weekend, but I slipped and hit my head, making it difficult to see/walk/think. Pretty sure I have a concussion, but that’s up in the air. Since I was so out of it, I decided to stay at my place for the weekend. And as strange as it may sound, I was glad I didn’t go home. I’m starting to really love living on my own.
In just one week, I’ve made some really cool friends and met some other interesting people that keep my day exciting. I’m still trying to find a way to beat the heat… especially when I have to walk almost ten minutes from one building to another. Tomorrow starts week two and I’m anxious to see what else gets thrown my way.
Posted on August 12, 2018
Today I have finally reached the end of my teen years! Happy birthday to me! After living 7,305 days I think I’ve picked up on a thing or two. I’ve compiled the best 20 lessons I’ve learned since I was brought to this Earth via stork.
1. Giving compliments never hurts!
2. Forgiveness is key.
3. Family over everything.
4. Some people who come into your life have premeditated reasons.
5. You get impacted the most by people you’d never expect.
6. Your mom is probably right.
7. Wear a jacket when it’s chilly. You’ll regret it later.
8. Be open to other people’s opinions/perspectives.
9. It’s ok to be weak sometimes.
10. Target is a weakness that cannot be avoided.
11. Time with friends is important. Even if it’s short.
12. Some boys just don’t care, but that doesn’t make you less valuable.
13. High school is not the best 4 years of your life.
14. It’s ok to spend entire days in bed watching Netflix and Youtube.
15. Nothing/Nobody is forever.
16. It’s important to celebrate even the smallest victories.
17. Failure is just motivation to try again and try harder.
18. Different body types don’t determine your beauty/ worth.
19. Wearing sweatpants and no makeup doesn’t mean you are put together.
20. Life is good.
Posted on August 10, 2018
There’s just one week until I move into my first apartment! I’m finally feeling all of the feelings-nerves, excitement, eagerness. I’m ready to move but I know it will be a long process of getting things moved in and get acclimated to the area.
Since my last post updating everyone, a lot more has gotten done. My family and I have made several purchases for my new place. We’ve gotten a lot of the necessities out of the way and even knocked out a few decorations for my living room. I’ve also received a bunch of gifts from family that has helped immensely. There’s a gigantic load of things piling up in my living room ready to go.
I’ve gotten all of my school supplies with the exception of a planner, and my book bag is packed for the move. I haven’t decided what clothes I’m taking yet because I’m terrible at commitment when it comes to these things. You should see how much I pack for vacations!
I’ve spoken with my parents about how often I’ll be coming home, which will be quite frequently. This is only because I want to support my sister as she goes into her senior year of high school. I’d like to be at her marching band performances and sporting events as the school year progresses. Of course I won’t make it to every single one, but I’ll definitely make it a priority of mine to make it to important games.
It seems like Rianna (my sister) has already been making plans to take over my bedroom when I leave. I was a little irritated at first, but it might as well be put to good use while I’m gone. As long as I have a bed to sleep in when I visit, I’m ok with whatever she does.
I’ll wrap it up since my move-in updates are always all over the place and I can’t seem to get them under control. I have a lot of things to get done still, and not much time to do it. I’m sure I won’t write more about the apartment until I’ve officially moved in, so be looking out for posts like that which will most likely be out in two to three weeks.
Thanks for reading and keeping updated on my move-in journey!
Posted on July 27, 2018
Yet another apartment update post. Not a real long one, but it still counts for something, right?
On Wednesday my sister and I went out to buy some things for my apartment. We went to Target and Walmart in hopes to find good deals for some of the things I needed. I tried my hardest to stick to the checklist I made, but sometimes I got a little distracted. It’s nice shopping with her because she speaks up when I’m about to buy something I don’t need.
While she was doing a lot of that, she also convinced me to think outside of the box and make some purchases that I normally wouldn’t consider. For example- I had no idea what theme I wanted for my bathroom. After having a mental break down in the aisles of Target, I was going to give up and wait until another day. That’s when my sister noticed a pretty pink shower curtain that was on sale.
If you know me, you know I don’t really like color. I usually stick to neutrals. But she threw the curtain in my cart so quick that I didn’t have time to second guess it. We made our way down another aisle and found hand towels that perfectly matched the shower curtain. Then we found bath mats that matched the hand towels. It’s crazy how one little decision can start a chain reaction! Thank goodness my sister was with me!
From that trip alone we got a wheeled storage cart, shower curtain, bath mat, sink mat, hand towels, desk lamp, huge mirror, and so much more! I was really proud of us for making that mini shopping spree such a success.
On Thursday I went out again, this time with with my parents. There was so much left to buy, and they helped make sense of all the craziness running through my head as we did it. We went to another Walmart that was little bigger so we had more options than I did the day before. Luckily for us, they had all the things I couldn’t find before. It helped get a lot of stress off of my mind.
After what seemed like hours, I picked out sheets for my bed and pull-out couch. Then I was able to build the rest of my purchases off of them. We got beige sheets for my couch, so that meant we should get beige blankets to drape over my chairs and cream pillows for the loveseat. It started to feel like a puzzle and an easy one at that.
I had a lot of fun picking the ins and outs of my apartment. The reality of it all set in and I’ve realized that I only have 20 days until I finally move! That being said, it’s going to be very hectic in my home until that day comes so please forgive me if I don’t get around to writing for a while!
Posted on July 26, 2018
It’s no secret that I took a semester off of college this past spring. I’ve written about it briefly but never really addressed it beyond that. A lot went into making that decision, and I still believe it was the right one for me.
In the time I took off, I was able to clear my head. I finally relieved myself from the stress that had been eating me alive since my junior year of high school. It gave me time to relax and not feel like my GPA was awaiting me in the dark abyss. For anyone else who feels this way, I highly recommend taking a gap year or semester to find yourself and figure out what you want to do.
This fall, I’m returning to school. However, instead of going back to community college in a rural area, I will be going to an urban university with roughly 13,000 undergrads. It’s a bit of a step up from what I’m used to but I’m excited for new experiences and resources that I will have come fall.
As the day draw nearer, I become more worried about adjusting back into the school setting after my time off. I haven’t taken any classes for eight months, so it’s going to be challenging for me to get back into the swing of things. But with the right discipline and friends/family who encourage me, I’m sure I’ll get through it with no problem.
Sometimes I wonder if the stress of preparing for college is worse than the stress I’ll endure during the semester. For me, that might just be the case. I have 22 days until my big move up to my apartment and 32 days until school starts. With so little time left, I’ve been busting my butt trying to get everything I need in time for the big days.
Yesterday my little sister and I went out to get some things for my apartment and it started to finally hit me- I’m moving out and finally doing what I’ve dreamt of since I was young. I know all my old high school friends who went through this last year had the same emotions when they left for their freshman year. I’m just a year behind but better late than never I guess.
Although the return from my semester off is causing a bit more stress for me, I’m definitely super happy that I chose that route back in December. Of course it feels weird being a 20 year old freshman, but it was what had to happen for me to be happy and comfortable. I may be nervous to return to a school lifestyle, but I feel a lot more prepared than I was last spring.
For anyone who feels severely overwhelmed by school, a short break isn’t the end of the world. It’s just a pit stop on the way to where you’re going.
Posted on July 17, 2018
Happy July 17th guys!
Yeah, it’s not a holiday, but it’s officially one month until I move out on my own! As you’ve probably read before, I’m super excited to be leaving my small hometown for a bigger city. I’m going to meet so many new people and explore new places. The memories will (hopefully) last a lifetime. Sure, I’m a little nervous for the day to come, but we all have to take the big leap at some point!
With only a month left, I have so much to do! Firstly, I have to sign papers for the apartment (it’s already mine, so no rush), buy all the necessities, and explore my new town!
I haven’t bought much at all for my apartment. I have a few small things like placemats, towels, and washcloths, but none of the big important things. Leave it to me to wait until the last minute to start checking things off my list! I assume that I’ll being doing a lot of shopping soon and can’t wait to see everything come together.
Not much for an update blog, but I figured I’d let everyone know that in one month, I’ll be heading north and marking a huge step in my life! So exciting!
Posted on June 14, 2018
Ex Best Friend Hannah,
It’s been a while since we’ve really talked. Sure we’ve exchanged a few words on Instagram, but that’s all. It’s not like how it used to be, and for reasons only a select few truly know and understand. But that’s ok. I like it better that way. I won’t go into detail about what happened between us since you already know. And although this is an open letter, it’s for you.
It wasn’t easy for me to lose my best friend. I felt like I lost my sister. The pain I felt was similar to grieving the death of someone. Perhaps I was grieving the death of a friendship… that would make sense. For weeks after our split (that makes it sound like we were dating), I sat in bed and tried to convince myself that it was only a small bump in the road. But it wasn’t. It was a head on collision.
Time seemed to go by slower once we stopped talking. I know we had distanced a little beforehand, but this was even harder. I remember nights where I was going through something awful and the only words I could get out were “I want Hannah.” But you’re not Beetlejuice so saying your name didn’t bring you nearer.
I’m reminded of our adventures whenever I scroll through my Snapchat memories or Timehop notifications. I remember when we went to the fair for only a few minutes until I got upset over a boy so you took me to McDonald’s. We made fun of the truck in front of us for having their tow mirrors out when they weren’t towing anything. “Gotta look like big tough country folk with our big tow mirrors.” I remember our field trip senior year to D.C. when we bought ice cream and hid away in your hotel room. To this day, the littlest things can trigger memories. Whenever I’m out shopping and see mermaid things, my mind goes straight to you.
Thank you for the nearly ten years of friendship. Each moment we spent together helped build me into the person I am now. I still hear you in my head telling me how dumb I am when I make stupid decisions and I know I’ll have your guidance with me even if I don’t have you.
No matter what happened to us, I will still always love you for being the best friend a girl could ever ask for. You supported me, kept me sane (sometimes, anyway), and gave me great advice. It’s been roughly ten months since we stopped talking, but it feels like a lifetime without you.
I hope you succeed in all that you go after, and achieve all your dreams you’ve had since you were young. I’m still silently rooting for you in the shadows.