A Letter to Myself One Year Ago

In honor of my 22nd birthday being just 2 days away (lots of 2’s… my favorite number), I wanted to share a letter to myself that I wrote while in a weird spot during quarantine. I really wanted to reflect on the last year and all it gave to me.

Hey Meg, let’s talk.

This next year is going to be monumental for you. It is going to be the time of so much growth for you. I promise you that who you are now is not who you will be in just a few weeks. Then every day after that, you’ll change again. Growing pains come along with that, but it’s nothing you can’t handle.
This is harsh, but the people in your life now will not be as important to you as they are now. You guys will all be transforming into new people and a couple friendships will be outgrown. That’s ok though. You’ll survive. You’re going to get your heart broken big time, then a few more times spiradically. But I promise you that every person who breaks your heart isn’t worth the dirt under your shoes. And their behavior isn’t your fault either. They’ve got their own problems to work through. Also, try not to hate them. It’s not worth it and honestly, it’s draining.
But guess what! All of this pain and change is leading up to something spectacular! You’re going to be so much happier.
You’re going to fall in love with someone who is bigger than the universe in your eyes. He’ll become your best friend, your lover, your medicine. You’ll feel so safe with him and never have to question him or his intentions. They’ll say to take things slow after you’ve gotten your heart broken so many times, but don’t listen to them. Dive right in. It’s ok. He’s one of the good ones. You’re going to trust him with your deepest secrets… ones only you know. He’ll be so far from anyone you’ve ever dated. He’s not your normal type at all. But that’s good. I mean, how well has your type worked out for you so far? Exactly. Don’t be afraid of what society says about time in relationships. Fall hard and fast. He’s there to catch you.
School will be interesting this year. You’ll go boy crazy fall semester and not pay as much attention to classes as you should. And you’ll hate yourself for it. Your grades won’t be the best, but they won’t be awful because at the last second you’ll get your shit together… like usual. Spring semester will get a little complicated though. You’ll ride most of the semester out and kick ass even though you’ll hate 50% of your classes. You’ll drop one class after a couple weeks because that professor is a shit stain (don’t even excuse my language) and you’ll be mad at yourself for giving up. Don’t be. It was the best decision you could have made under the circumstances. You’ll get back into the swing of school finally. You typically have one off-semester and then come back swinging for the second anyway. This semester won’t end like normal. You’ll leave for spring break and not come back. COVID-19 will show its ugly face and mess everything up. It’ll become a pandemic and nobody will know what is going on. A health concern that effects everyone will become a political issue for some reason, and you’ll want to hit a lot of people in the head with a 2×4 for it. Everyone will downplay its impact, but it’s going to kill a lot of people. You’ll expect it to go away in a couple weeks but it’ll stick around for much, much longer. You’ll finish your spring semester online, but that’ll be the best thing to happen to you because you’ll get more time to focus on your studies. You’ll end the semester with a 3.85 GPA. Yeah, it’s not a 4.0 and that’s because you kind of slacked off at the beginning of the semester, but that’s ok. You kicked ass. You might even make it into that honor society like you want so badly!
This year can only be as good as you make it. It’ll test your patience and sanity, but if you keep looking at the bright side, there’s nothing you can’t do.
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4 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

Hi guys! I hope everyone is doing well! I haven’t been posting in a while because my laptop took a dump on me (just my luck), but I couldn’t go without recognizing the four year anniversary of MegannLouise.com!

It’s insane to think that the support and encouragement of my best friend to share my writing led to one of my proudest accomplishments thus far. Sure, I took a few “vacations” here and there, but the passion I have for writing has never left.
In these last 4 years, I’ve documented so much of my life on my blog… falling in love, falling out of love, moving into my first apartment, going to a new school, and so much more. I like to call my blog my public diary.


I have to admit that I was considering ending my blogging journey recently. I found myself in a rut creatively and couldn’t find any joy in what I was producing. I have to thank my awesome friend for saying something he may have forgotten about but I never will- “I don’t want to live in a world where you gave up on something you are so damn fucking good at. The world deserves it.” Honestly, if it wasn’t for that encouragement, I 100% believe I would have thrown in the towel.
I’m so grateful for all of the love and support I’ve gotten from my friends, family, and readers. If you’ve ever backed me while I’ve explored my writing, I promise you it didn’t go unnoticed.
Right now I am still dealing with tech issues that are preventing me from posting new content, but I promise that when everything is up and working again, there will be plenty of fun FRESH material up for you guys!
Thank you so much for giving me a chance and keeping up with all the craziness I’ve been up to in the last four years! Here’s to four more!

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Here’s What Will Happen When You Fall in Love with Someone Who Can’t Love You

Short answer? It hurts like hell.

Long answer?

Things won’t feel right for a while. It’ll feel like you’re going through the motions. You’ll be checking your phone to see that they haven’t called or texted you. You’ll feel like you’re missing something in your day.

You’ll catch yourself thinking about them when you shouldn’t be. Any little thing will remind you of them- the shirt you wore that one time when they came over, the spot on the ceiling you looked at while they held you in their arms, the balled-up gum wrapper sitting on your bedside table. Everything becomes a trigger of a memory. You’ll know that you can’t keep thinking about them, but it’s out of your control.

You’ll wish you could talk to them. Maybe you can. Maybe they’ve said you can text them any time, but you know deep down that they said that just to be polite. Communicating is not something they really care about. If they did, they would’ve been honest with you from the start.

You’ll keep the photos for a while. Probably because you don’t want to let go. Or maybe because you’ve started to feel better but seeing their face washes away the flood gates and you feel all the feelings again. Their face will live in your phone until the feelings are such a distant memory that you forget they’re even there.

You’ll catch yourself falling even more. You know it won’t work, but that won’t stop you from thinking about how happy you two would be if. 

You’ll sleep more. Being awake leads to overthinking. Any time you open your eyes, you’ll shut them again and force yourself to go back to sleep. You won’t want to be awake. You may even feel a pain in your stomach when you think about taking on the day.

You’ll look at things differently. That quote from some philosopher whose name you can’t pronounce might start to have a heavier meaning to you. It might get you thinking. The sad parts of cheesy Hallmark movies might hit too close to home.

You’ll decide to make a change. Changes don’t just come out of thin air. You have to work for them. You have to make them what you want them to be. You’ll see that the position you are in is no longer serving you and want to change that.

You’ll eventually feel ok again. All this pain subsides in due time. I can’t tell you that it’ll be quick or easy. I can just tell you it’ll be right. If you hurt for months, that’s what is right for your path. Days? Hours? Same thing. You’ll start to feel normal and maybe even better than before. You’ll go out more, experience more, love more. You’ll be more you. You’ll love yourself how you wished they would have loved you.

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Paying Homage to 2019

Can you believe this is my third year writing my yearly recap? I can’t!

So for those who don’t know, at the end of every year I like to highlight some of my highs and lows of the year (see Paying Homage to 2017, Paying Homage to 2018). I started in 2017 as a casual post, not thinking I would keep up with it the following years. I always consider the third time to be what establishes something as a tradition, so here we are guys! It’s officially a Megann Louise tradition!

In last year’s recap, I said I was going to make 2019 my bitch. Well, we win some, we lose some, right? Whenever I look back on this year I get a bad taste in my mouth. I know a lot of great things happened, but I also experienced a lot of heartache. I’d consider this year to be one of great growth for me.

At the start of the year, I got to see Cody Ko and Noel Miller live with my sister and friend James. Their Youtube videos were what got me through a lot of hard stuff so it was wild that I was in the same room as them.

In May I finished my first year of college at CSU. I ended up making the Dean’s List, which I would not have expected at the beginning of the year. I finally decided on the right major for me in that time too- communication.

I moved out of my first apartment in May, too. It was the ending of an era, I suppose. That place became my home. I made so many wild memories in apartment 509. As sad as I was leaving, I felt a weird sense of relief too. I was leaving behind a piece of me, which was sort of sad, but I knew I was starting a new chapter.

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In July, I surprised my sister with a party for her 18th birthday. It was pretty last minute, but all her friends pitched in and helped me make things work. I was so grateful for everybody’s help in making it such a success. Being able to do something like that for my sister was so special to me.

Then there was a bump in the road. I said goodbye to a nearly two year relationship. Things just don’t work out sometimes and it’s for the best. I still have a ridiculous amount of love and respect for my ex. He’s a great guy…. just not my soulmate. And that’s alright. It took me a while to move past the heartbreak, which is to be expected when you were with someone for a long time. He is genuinely one of my best friends and I’m so lucky to still have him to confide in whenever I need him. While some would expect me to be sad that the relationship ended, I’m glad that I’m still lucky enough to have a friend in him.

For a while after the break up, I was in a really dark place and couldn’t seem to find the way out. I didn’t feel half as confident as I once did. I suppose it’s normal (but in no way healthy) to dog on yourself after a break up… at least for a little while. After I was finally able to get myself out of bed, I was going out to get my mind off of everything. That’s where the fun came in.

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First, we went to see Granger Smith. The story behind that one is a little random. We had gone to Walmart and there were two tour buses in the parking lot (which obviously isn’t a normal thing). Turns out Granger was at Walmart! We didn’t get to see him there, but we took it as a sign that we should buy two tickets to the show that was only hours away.  I have to say that that was one of the best nights I’d had in a while. The rush we felt after buying the tickets was insane. We immediately ran to get ready and blasted Granger throughout the house.

The very next night, we were invited to tag along to a Foreigner concert. I didn’t know too many songs (I know, what’s wrong with me?!) but I still had such a good time. I think that’s one of the first nights where I was able to fully drop every bad thought at the door and enjoy myself.

In late August, I moved back to Cleveland with my little sister for school. We got a new place with two other roommates that’s a lot nicer than the one I lived in the year before. I started what is the second semester of my sophomore year. Rianna, my sister, began her first semester as a freshman! The semester came with a lot of adjusting for us both and somehow we made it through all of the headaches.

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For the second year in a row, my dad, sister, and I went to the Cleveland Air Show. When I was little, my dad always talked about taking us. Then finally last year, we got to go. I’ll be honest- I didn’t think I’d enjoy it all that much. But it was so much fun, that I was jumping up and down over getting to go again this year. I’d love for this to become a tradition!

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To reward ourselves for kicking butt the first few weeks of school, Rianna and I went to our first Cleveland Indian’s game! I’ve never been a die hard baseball fan, but the atmosphere was so fun and I really enjoyed myself. I was still trying to recover from a lot mentally so that night was a breath of fresh air for me. Fun fact- I also bought my first legal drink at the game!

School got progressively more challenging and I went into a downward spiral. I started doing things I swore to myself I would never do. I just lost control of who I was. That’s when I reintroduced myself to faith. I let myself stray from religion in the past few years and by coming back, I felt myself finding closure and motivation to overcome everything I was facing.

Then I did something out of my comfort zone. After having several deep talks with my friend Kaleb, I found motivation to share my story. I went live on Instagram. I came clean about everything I had been feeling because I hoped being transparent would not only help me, but help someone watching. I was open about things that most people would consider taboo. Laying it all out on the table really helped me see the bigger picture. I even got some super sweet messages from people who watched to livestreams. There was so much support and understanding. It was beautiful. I don’t imagine I’ll ever get over that.

Shortly after, I reconnected with a friend I made during my first semester of school at CSU. We got lunch and caught each other up on our lives. We both had some wild stories to tell and a lot of laughs to share. I was really excited to have this friend in my life because he was absolutely hysterical and genuinely a great guy to be around.

I’m so excited to be saying goodbye to this transformative decade. I’ve got a lot of goals for 2020. I want to make it a year of hard work and big steps. I refuse to end 2020 in the same place that I start it. It’s time to grow, baby!

Thank you to everyone who stuck around for another year as well as those who stumbled upon my site this year! You guys make each and every year so special. I hope you all have a magnificent new year and get all you want and need!

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December Update| Blogmas 2019

Before I get into today’s post, I have some side notes. I want to let everyone know that there was a slight scheduling mishap with my last three posts. For some reason, they never went public! But they’re up now, so check out My Winter Bucket List , Stocking Stuffers for College Students , and Photos I Want to Take This December! Also, I know this post is going up a little later than usual, and that’s because I really wanted to get this up TODAY but I also wanted to spend some time with my family relaxing. And again, finals are coming up so I’ve been hitting those books any chance I get!

Today I wanted to give you guys a little update on what I’ve been up to and how I’ve been feeling. I don’t want this whole blog to just be me talking about how I’m doing, but sometimes I like to check in and write in my “digital diary.”

Lately I’ve been doing pretty well. Things really seem to be looking up for me. Sure, little things have pushed my buttons here and there, but I haven’t let anything get to me for long.

I got to see an old friend of mine for the first time in almost two years, which is so crazy to think about! Andy had been in Japan doing his tough guy USMC thing and hadn’t been home since before we graduated high school. It was so much fun getting to see him and other old classmates of mine!

I’ve been focusing a lot on school lately, which is good for me. I was letting my poor mental health dictate whether or not I attended class or completed assignments for so long that my grades were taking some hard hits. I had to really buckle down for a couple weeks and study like crazy. I have finals tomorrow and Tuesday that will really be make it or break it for me. Keep your fingers crossed or send prayers if that’s your thing. I’ll be welcoming of whatever positivity you throw at me!

In other news, I’ve met someone. He’s really freaking cool and I can’t think of a single time that we’ve hung out where we haven’t been dying laughing together. Good signs, right?

I don’t want to say too much yet because I’m sure once the time is right, I won’t shut up about him. I guess you’ll hear more soon!

Quick thanks to everyone who has been keeping up with everything I’ve been doing on Instagram and Twitter while I’ve been taking my sporadic breaks on here! You guys are awesome!

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Prepping For Finals | Blogmas 2019

Finals week is next week and saying I’ve been overwhelmed would be an understatement.

I have so many papers and study guides to get completed. My head feels like it’s going to explode. I let the days fly by and totally lost track of time. Guess who’s really behind. Me. I’m behind. That’s who. *nervous laughter*

So I pretty much wanted today’s post to just be a short little heads up that blogmas might be super short posts until I’m through with finals next week.

Lame post, I know. But I had to get it out there somehow, right?

Ok, carry on with your day! See you tomorrow!

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Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. Food is 100% up my alley so this holiday was practically made for me! But before I start licking plates clean, I want to go into who/what I am thankful for this year.

My family.

I can’t thank my family enough for everything they’ve done for me. In the last year, I’ve gone through a lot of struggles and they’ve been by my side through it all. They make bad days good and good days even better. I’ve always been able to call on them whenever I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with.

My hometown best friends.

My best friends from home have been holding it down for years. They’re some of the best people I could ever surround myself with. They always drop everything they’re doing to make sure I’m good and I can’t say thank you enough. I have so many great memories with them and I hope to make a lot more in the future.

My college friends.

I’ve met so many awesome people in college and they’re some of the greatest friends I could ask for. I could trust these people with my life. I was so blessed to have met these people in my classes.

School.

Having a good education is very important to me. I am so lucky and blessed to be able to further my education at Cleveland State University. It’s almost always a stressful headache but it’s all been worth it at the end of the day.

You guys.

Everyone who takes the time out of their day to read my posts are AMAZING! I am so unbelievably thankful for each and every one of you! It feels like I’ve made so many friends through blogging and I hope I can keep doing this for years to come.

What are you thankful for this year?

I hope that you and yours have an amazing Thanksgiving full of great food and even better memories!

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73 Questions Vogue Parody

After seeing Gillian’s post about the 73 Questions: Vogue Parody, I was curious what my answers would be so I had to give it a go! I’ve never really made it through a full video of 73 Questions other than Liza Koshy’s because she’s- well- everything. But being the narcissist I am, I was quick to jump onto this trend that’s going around the blogosphere.

So without further a due, here is my 73 Questions Vogue Parody!

1. What is your usual Starbucks drink?

A venti pink drink or mocha frappuccino! Yum!

2. What does your work station look like?

My bed, if I’m being completely honest.

3. All-time favorite food?

Any sort of pasta. Really. ANY.

4. Favorite author?

I’m more of a poetry reader so I’d have to say Atticus or Amanda Lovelace.

5. What do you think of open relationships?

As I’ve gotten older and experienced different things, I can see why someone would prefer it. I don’t think my complicated heart could ever handle it, but I don’t judge others who are in them!

6. What’s your favorite video game?

Mario Kart. 100%.

7. What’s your guilty pleasure treat?

Kit Kats. Anyone who knows me knows that.

8. Your favorite movie?

The entire Harry Potter series is my favorite. Pick any movie from it and I’d tell you it’s my favorite!

9. Favorite book?

Currently, it has to be This Star Won’t Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl, which is about the girl with terminal thyroid cancer who inspired John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars. It’s a must read for sure.

10. Best advice you’ve ever received?

After going through a hard breakup and feeling like I wasn’t worth anyone’s time, my grandma told me to yell “I am Megann Louise Rosecrans and I am valuable” whenever I was feeling down. It works wonders!

11. Twitter or Instagram?

Both? Can I say both?

12. Are you a desktop or a laptop person?

Laptop for sure. I’m way too fidgety for a desktop computer.

13. What projects are you working on right now?

I’m working on a bunch of things but I don’t want to spoil the surprises! Let’s just say… “big things coming.”

14. What’s your favorite color?

It used to be purple when I was little. Now it’s probably blue.

15. Did you get good grades in school?

A’s and B’s.

16. Dream job?

Making content online. Videos, blogs, etc.

17. Played any sports?

I was on a soccer team when I was little. And by “on a soccer team” I mean I owned the uniform. My shy self never played a second. I kept that bench HOT.

18. Do you have a degree?

We’re getting there, baby!

19. Nationality?

American.

20. What’s your favorite type of blog post to write?

Ones like these. Where I don’t wreck my brain over it.

21. What do you like to collect?

Carmex.

22. Describe yourself in three words.

Excessively Emotionally Attached.

23. If you were a rapper, what would your rapper name be?

Megann the Horse… is that funny?

24. Who was the last person you DM’d?

My best friend Shelby.

25. What’s on the top of your wish list right now?

Anything warm because my apartment is always like 30 degrees.

26. Sorting House?

Hufflepuff.

27. How many tattoos do you have?

I have 5 and I’ve planned my 6th and 7th already!

28. What are you most grateful for this year?

Being reintroduced to my faith.

29. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you this month?

I got to bring someone really special home to meet my parents. That was the first time I really “brought someone home” and it was nice.

30. What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?

I took a long, hot shower and felt my body temperature return to normal. Maybe the blood in my veins thawed too. Then I got out and went back into my freezing cold room.

31. What’s the best thing ever?

Connecting with people.

32. Favorite season?

Fall. I can’t imagine it ever being anything else either.

33. Favorite holiday?

Thanksgiving!

34. What fictional character do you relate to the most?

I’ve never really thought about that before. Hmm… I have no clue!

35. Do you like surprises?

NOT AT ALL.

36. What’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had?

Probably where my life is now, if I’m being completely transparent. I never expected to even see 21, let alone have all this going for me if I did!

37. What’s the surprise that made you cry?

I don’t really cry when I’m surprised… I’m emotionless, I know.

38. What’s the best surprise you’ve ever given someone?

I suck at surprises. But maybe the surprise 18th birthday party I threw my sister this year!

39. Do you like muffins?

Only pumpkin muffins! Those are HEAVEN.

40. Do you cook often?

I never have the time or energy. I should probably force myself to more often!

41. What’s your favorite dessert?

I was just thinking about it today. Either a super chocolatey brownie (edge piece only) or a strawberry jello pretzel dessert!

42. Is there a dessert you dislike?

Cheesecake! Yuck!

43. Cake or pie?

Cake. Hands down!

44. What’s your least favorite food?

Any seafood other than calamari.

45. What’s your favorite condiment?

Ketchup or Mayo.

46. It’s 4 am on a Saturday night, what would you eat?

Probably donuts or chocolate pudding. Whatever I can get from the kitchen without waking up my roommates.

47. If you could teach a college class, what would it be called?

How to Bullshit Assignments 101.

48. Best animated film?

Finding Nemo.

49. What has a guy done or said to impress you?

After my experiences with guys, simple things like “I know whether to write a zero or one on my W2” is impressive to me. Yikes.

50. The best thing to do on a first date?

Hang out somewhere that’s moderately loud so there’s no awkward silence!

51. The worst thing to do on a first date?

Anything romantic. I get super uncomfortable!

52. What’s the funniest pick-up line a guy could use on a girl?

I used to have a friend who would send me pickup lines he used on girls and I died laughing at them but I can’t think of any right of hand!

53. Best comic book character?

I’ve never touched a comic book. I know. Sue me.

54. What are three things that are always in your purse?

Carmex, my apartment keys, and my wallet.

55. Favorite drink?

Starbucks pink drink.

56. If you could play a historical figure in a movie who would it be?

I think it would have to be my ginger queen, Lindsey Lohan.

57. Kittens or puppies?

Kittens. They’re cuddly little babies. I used to have a kitten who never wanted me to leave him or he’d cry. I had to have my sister babysit him while I ate because he’d just lay on my chest and try to bite whatever I brought toward my mouth!

58. Tell me your favorite sushi roll?

Sushi? YUCKKKKKKK!

59. What kind of lipstick do you use?

I’m not a big lipstick person but I used to use the L’Oréal Paris J-Lo lipstick in Jennifer’s Nude.

60. What kind of foundation do you use?

I opt for elf tinted moisturizer instead! Much lighter weight!

61. Blow dry or Air dry?

Air dry!

62. Who is your fashion icon?

Milena Ciciotti. I loooove her style!

63. Favorite Disney character?

Princess Ariel, my fellow redhead.

64. What are doing tomorrow?

Working on papers and projects that are due soon. The grind doesn’t stop!

65. A movie you laughed the hardest through?

C Me Dance. If you know, you know.

66. A movie that made you cry?

The Lion King (2019). I had never seen the first movie so the mix of shock and realism got me good.

67. If you could sing a duet with someone, who would it be?

Assuming I could sing in this alternate universe, I would love to sing with EDEN. He’s such a god.

68. If your life were a song, what would be the title?

Right now? Probably Better Than You Loved Me by Aaron Smith.

69. What’s your favorite animal?

There’s a ton. Right now my mind is telling my to say sloths. So, sloths.

70. Favorite illustrator?

Not a single clue.

71. A person you want to have coffee with?

My big-second-something Eric! We’ve never met in person, but he’s been like a big brother to me for years!

72. What country do you wish to visit?

I’ve always wanted to go to Australia!

73. Best way to decompress?

Watching Youtube movie commentaries in bed with Kit Kats and a strawberry daiquiri by my side. Sounds like a perfect stress reliever to me!

This was a lot of fun! A lot of these questions got my brain going to places I hadn’t really been to before!

If you want to participate in the tag, I TAG YOU! Just let me know if you complete it so I can see what your answers are! I’d love to see!

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On The Up & Up-date

Hey guys! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted anything on here so I’m checking in to let you all know I’m alive and well.

School’s been keeping me fairly busy. Everyday I’ve got some sort of assignment whether it be a lengthy paper, an online lecture, or reading. I won’t lie though. I’ve had several opportunities to sit down and write this update for you guys, but whenever I went to write something, I got exhausted and needed a nap. I mean, I’m running on barely 5 hours of sleep everyday so do you blame me?

Anyway, school’s been really good so far. I’m currently Team Straight A’s, which is something I’m going to flex until I can’t anymore… because I totally deserve it. I’ve been bringing home 100% quizzes and exams weekly. Don’t ask me how… I haven’t figured that part out yet to be honest with you.

Since I’ve gotten back to school I’ve gotten to catch up with so many friends from last year and I’ve felt my heart grow bigger and bigger. I never realized how much I missed them until I got to see them again and I didn’t want to ever say goodbye to them. I’ve also made a bunch of new friends that I can already see being in my wedding (if there ever is one lol). So I guess my sociability has really expanded since I moved back.

I know you guys know I went through some shit a month ago and was in a really dark place, so I wanted to touch on that real quick (again).

I’m doing so well it’s almost scary. I feel so much more power, confidence, and happiness now. I’ve been doing live streams on Instagram every Sunday where I talk about my trials and tribulations and offer advice and understanding to those who need it. Since I started doing the streams, I’ve gotten so many messages from people who have been going through their own battles. I promised myself that my pain wouldn’t be in vain and that I would use my voice to help others going through things too. Let me tell you- it has been the biggest reward. I’m still working on finding the perfect time to do live streams so that the most people can watch them live, but as of right now I go live at 6 pm EST and it hasn’t been so bad. If you’re interested in watching, set an alarm and be ready with popcorn tomorrow when we talk about confidence!

I’m so excited to bring new content to this blog and solidify what I want this website to be. I know I’ve been really wishy washy about my content and that’s not cool so I’m making it a goal of mine to get my act together and decide on what I’m going to do. I have a lot of things planned, but I want to really think every little move out before I execute it now. In the meantime, check out some of my older posts and let me know what you like best!

I’ve taken a lot of my online presence over to Instagram and Twitter so make sure to follow me on there to keep up to date on things like my livestreams and personal goals!

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I’m Better Now | Yet Another Update

As most of you probably know by now, I’ve really been going through it this past month or so. Lots has gone on that’s forced me to make massive changes in my life and ultimately turn into a completely different version of myself. I went through a break-up, a move, health concerns, friend drama, my first week of classes, and a lot of little things that started adding up.

Through all of those changes and bumps in the road, there was one thing that kept me grounded. One thing that stayed no matter who/what left- me. Out of all of the mantras of love and happiness that were preached to me through it all, the hugs and open hearts, knowing that I was still here for me was what kept me going.

I had to prove to myself that I have what it takes to make changes in my life that can be beneficial for me. I relied so heavily on other people to give me what I wanted and needed. At the time I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I felt comfortable and secure with where I was at. But now, looking back at who I was even a month ago disgusts me. I wasn’t doing anything for myself. I didn’t want to better myself unless someone else took that first step for me.

A part of me hates admitting that… especially online to people who build their opinions of me on what I say and do on this website. But admitting it is liberating in a way too. Being able to say that that’s who I was and not who I am feels really good. I know a lot of close friends and family were genuinely concerned about me. That added pressure dragged me down a lot. However, I knew that doing what I needed to do for myself would serve as reassurance for both myself and those around me. Since I started hitting my roadbumps, I’ve accomplished a lot. I reserve the right to brag a little since I was able to escape the rut I was in for so long.

I’ve been MIA for a while on here and so I haven’t been able to share my successes with you guys and it’s sucked. I’ve wanted so badly to hop on here and tell you all what I’ve been up to, but I feared that the second I shared it, it would all go away. But now I’m fairly confident that the work I’ve put in so far has put me in a safe spot.

I’m doing really well in my classes and I’ve already made a few of those “we’re-in-the-same-class-so-we’ll-be-friends-for-the-semester” friends. My instructors are alright, I suppose. One of them is already the kind of instructor I wish all of them were- relatable. He likes the same types of music as me and makes my kinds of jokes. I expect a lot of great things from his classes I’m taking.

In the love life department, I’m just doing me. I love myself more than I have ever loved myself. I feel confident and independent, and I’ve been trusting myself to make the best decisions possible. I have definitely met a few guys who have drawn my interest, but I’m not ready to devote myself to anyone other than me right now. I’m so happy with my life the way it is. If I do, however, find someone that I feel I cannot live without, I’ll be careful. Then again, I may not have to be. Now I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. I’ve learned what I love about love and what I don’t care for. I guess you could say I narrowed down the search. But again, this will all be in due time.

I have some big things in the works that I’m not ready to announce yet, but as soon as things are set in stone, I’ll be announcing it everywhere like it’s my job (I guess it sort of is)!

Finally, thank you to everyone for the support on my last post. I miss you guys and I might just be ready to come back!

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Behind the Scenes of Blogging

Hi everyone!

I hope you all had a great week and are ready to tackle another one! The past week for me was pretty eventful. My family and I did some more yard work and I finally got to unpack some more of my things from the apartment. There’s still a ton left to do in preparation for my sister’s graduation party (in 25 days) so it’s been a race against time.


Today I wanted to go into depth about blogging and everything that goes into it. I’ve been wanting to do this for a while but I’ve always brushed it off hoping that one day it would just write itself. But here I am, bundled up and comfy in bed, ready to take on this topic once and for all.

Making a Website

There’s a bunch of different ways that you can make a website for your blog. A lot of people think that making a blog is expensive, but that’s not always the case.

The first thing to do is to choose the hosting site you want to host your blog on. You can either self-host or use a free hosting option. A web hosting provider is basically a helpful hand for making your website. They provide their own tools as well as templates to create your website. By self-hosting, you can have much more of a say in what your website looks like by coding.

My very first blog was through Blogger. As a newbie in the blogging game, 12-year-old me didn’t know much at all. Blogger was super simple for me, so even though the site wasn’t that special content-wise, it still looked really neat. Now I’m using WordPress, which has given me so much more control over my website. I pay annually for my website, but don’t worry frugal friends- there’s a free plan too!

Another important step is figuring out a name for your blog. This shouldn’t be taken lightly. The name you choose for your blog is what people will recognize you as. You want it to be easy to remember and preferably short, sweet, and to the point. Think about it- when was the last time you remembered a long URL and typed the whole thing into the address bar correctly? It’s a rare occurrence.

Post Planning

Planning posts ahead of time is a great stress reliever. I like to use Google Calendar to schedule my posts. I love the color coding and overall layout of the calendar. It helps a lot to be able to jot down ideas and then drag them around until I find the perfect fit for the month.

I usually try to plan my posts around pre-existing categories that I have for my site. These categories are what I want my blog to be centered around. When I’m scheduling posts for the month, I like to look back at the recent categories I’ve written about. I monitor which do well with my audience as well as myself, and most likely those will be the categories I base my new posts around.

Whenever I can’t think about anything to write about, I ask other people for their advice. Sometimes I go to my Instagram story to ask my followers for ideas directly, and other times I will ask random questions that inspire a post.

Making Money

I don’t recommend blogging to people whose main goal is to make money. There’s a lot that goes into making money from a blog. If you aren’t motivated by putting out great content for people to enjoy, your fire will die out quickly when you see how much time and effort it takes to make even a dollar from blogging.

I run ads on my site in order to pay off my yearly subscription to the plan I use to keep my domain and host my website. With the plan that I have through WordPress, I cannot use Adsense to my blog, but I can allow ads through WordPress’ ad system. These ads don’t pay much at all, unfortunately, and their rates are always changing. I know it’s taboo to talk about your earnings, but I want to be transparent about this. I can’t even calculate my average income through ads because it fluctuates so much from month to month. One month, my site displayed 1,041 ads and I made one cent. The next month, my site only showed 322 ads and I made one cent again. If you’re hoping to make better money through ads and you use WordPress, I suggest spending the extra money for the Business plan, where you can connect Google Adsense to your site and make more money at a steadier rate.

Another way you can make money through your blog is with brand deals. Brand deals are usually presented to blogs with a good online presence. Some brands will do deep dives into your site to make sure you are a right fit to represent and promote them. Before reaching out to brands, it’s important that you have a media kit to provide them. As we speak, I’m working on my media kit to be able to present my blog to brands. There’s a lot that happens behind the scenes of brand deals, so if you’re interested in the process, let me know and I can write a separate post all about that!

Promoting

It’s important to promote your blog, especially if it’s a source of income for you. Social media helps a lot with promoting your site. I personally like to share links to my new posts on all of my social media platforms after they’re posted. That ensures that different people will see the link and some will even see it more than once.

I get a lot of traffic through Instagram stories, Facebook posts, and tweets when I share links to my posts. Another way I share my posts is through Snapchat stories with a swipe-up link embedded. But each person is different and I encourage everyone to take a stab at promoting on social media. It’s a shameless plug.

Networking

One of my favorite parts of blogging is meeting new people. I’ve met a lot of fellow bloggers through WordPress, and their support is amazing! It’s so fun to talk to people who share the love for writing that you have. It’s also nice to bounce ideas off each other from time to time.

Like I mentioned earlier, you make money through networking with brands. Media kits help a lot in the networking process by providing stats and other important information regarding your blog to brands to show them who you are and whether or not it’s worth it to collaborate.

Never Turning Off Your Brain

This is one of the hardest parts of blogging at first. You can never turn your brain off of blogging mode. At first, you have to teach yourself to keep your brain turned on for ideas. You have to train yourself to be constantly listening to conversations, watching the news, and monitoring social media trends to draw inspiration for posts. Now it’s a habit. It happens naturally. My brain won’t shut off even if I try.


Out of all of this, I’ve learned that nothing with blogging is set in stone. Things are always changing and evolving, and it’s my job to ride those waves.

If you’re interested in starting a blog or you’re in the early stages of blogging, I’d love to help answer any questions you have about the platform. Message me and let’s get your site going strong!

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