You Don’t Earn Your Depression

The other day, I came across an article on Odyssey called “You Don’t Need A Reason For Your Depression, It’s Still Valid if Your Life is Technically ‘Good’“and it really got me thinking about a conversation I had with someone recently.

I was talking to a friend about how hard things have been and how badly I wished I wasn’t here. I vented about everything because I felt like I was talking to someone I could trust… someone who would help. Instead, I got the grand old “there are people who have it worse than you” lecture.

And in that moment, I felt disappointment and guilt. Disappointment because that wasn’t at all what I wanted or expected to hear. It was like I was reaching for help but they were stepping on my fingers. Guilt because now I felt terrible for taking everything I had for granted. Even guilt for speaking up about how I was feeling.

I spent a few days feeling awful about feeling awful.

Now I’m finally realizing how wrong that is. I mean, I always thought it was messed up for someone to say you’re not allowed to be upset because people have it worse than you. It’s like saying you can’t be happy because someone has it better than you. But something about the way it had been said to me that night was so manipulative that I was immediately convinced it was the truth.

My poor brain was doing flips. I kept shaming myself for overthinking or feeling pain. Any time I was sad, I told myself I was wrong. It added another layer of problems for me. It was like trying to put out a fire with more fire.

If you’re ever told that you shouldn’t be reacting a certain way because “someone else has it worse than you,” or “someone else would kill to be in the position you’re in,” know that your feelings are valid. It is not your job to base your pain on the pain of others. It is not your job to turn off your feelings at the flip of a switch because someone says you shouldn’t feel that way.

I hate what this person said to me. I hate this person’s mindset. But I don’t hate this person. I actually love them a lot. So, as you can imagine, it really hurts me that I can no longer feel comfortable talking to them about my struggles.

I didn’t want to write about this at first because I was afraid it would cause problems with the person who said it, but at the end of the day it needed to be said. Someone else might need to hear this. I hope the person who said this to me reads this. Let’s be honest, they’re probably going through some shit too.

Please, reach out to your friends. Make sure they’re ok. It isn’t easy to ask someone for help. By showing that interest yourself, it invites and reassures them.

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

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December Update| Blogmas 2019

Before I get into today’s post, I have some side notes. I want to let everyone know that there was a slight scheduling mishap with my last three posts. For some reason, they never went public! But they’re up now, so check out My Winter Bucket List , Stocking Stuffers for College Students , and Photos I Want to Take This December! Also, I know this post is going up a little later than usual, and that’s because I really wanted to get this up TODAY but I also wanted to spend some time with my family relaxing. And again, finals are coming up so I’ve been hitting those books any chance I get!

Today I wanted to give you guys a little update on what I’ve been up to and how I’ve been feeling. I don’t want this whole blog to just be me talking about how I’m doing, but sometimes I like to check in and write in my “digital diary.”

Lately I’ve been doing pretty well. Things really seem to be looking up for me. Sure, little things have pushed my buttons here and there, but I haven’t let anything get to me for long.

I got to see an old friend of mine for the first time in almost two years, which is so crazy to think about! Andy had been in Japan doing his tough guy USMC thing and hadn’t been home since before we graduated high school. It was so much fun getting to see him and other old classmates of mine!

I’ve been focusing a lot on school lately, which is good for me. I was letting my poor mental health dictate whether or not I attended class or completed assignments for so long that my grades were taking some hard hits. I had to really buckle down for a couple weeks and study like crazy. I have finals tomorrow and Tuesday that will really be make it or break it for me. Keep your fingers crossed or send prayers if that’s your thing. I’ll be welcoming of whatever positivity you throw at me!

In other news, I’ve met someone. He’s really freaking cool and I can’t think of a single time that we’ve hung out where we haven’t been dying laughing together. Good signs, right?

I don’t want to say too much yet because I’m sure once the time is right, I won’t shut up about him. I guess you’ll hear more soon!

Quick thanks to everyone who has been keeping up with everything I’ve been doing on Instagram and Twitter while I’ve been taking my sporadic breaks on here! You guys are awesome!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving everybody!

Thanksgiving has always been one of my favorite holidays. Food is 100% up my alley so this holiday was practically made for me! But before I start licking plates clean, I want to go into who/what I am thankful for this year.

My family.

I can’t thank my family enough for everything they’ve done for me. In the last year, I’ve gone through a lot of struggles and they’ve been by my side through it all. They make bad days good and good days even better. I’ve always been able to call on them whenever I need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with.

My hometown best friends.

My best friends from home have been holding it down for years. They’re some of the best people I could ever surround myself with. They always drop everything they’re doing to make sure I’m good and I can’t say thank you enough. I have so many great memories with them and I hope to make a lot more in the future.

My college friends.

I’ve met so many awesome people in college and they’re some of the greatest friends I could ask for. I could trust these people with my life. I was so blessed to have met these people in my classes.

School.

Having a good education is very important to me. I am so lucky and blessed to be able to further my education at Cleveland State University. It’s almost always a stressful headache but it’s all been worth it at the end of the day.

You guys.

Everyone who takes the time out of their day to read my posts are AMAZING! I am so unbelievably thankful for each and every one of you! It feels like I’ve made so many friends through blogging and I hope I can keep doing this for years to come.

What are you thankful for this year?

I hope that you and yours have an amazing Thanksgiving full of great food and even better memories!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

I’m Better Now | Yet Another Update

As most of you probably know by now, I’ve really been going through it this past month or so. Lots has gone on that’s forced me to make massive changes in my life and ultimately turn into a completely different version of myself. I went through a break-up, a move, health concerns, friend drama, my first week of classes, and a lot of little things that started adding up.

Through all of those changes and bumps in the road, there was one thing that kept me grounded. One thing that stayed no matter who/what left- me. Out of all of the mantras of love and happiness that were preached to me through it all, the hugs and open hearts, knowing that I was still here for me was what kept me going.

I had to prove to myself that I have what it takes to make changes in my life that can be beneficial for me. I relied so heavily on other people to give me what I wanted and needed. At the time I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I felt comfortable and secure with where I was at. But now, looking back at who I was even a month ago disgusts me. I wasn’t doing anything for myself. I didn’t want to better myself unless someone else took that first step for me.

A part of me hates admitting that… especially online to people who build their opinions of me on what I say and do on this website. But admitting it is liberating in a way too. Being able to say that that’s who I was and not who I am feels really good. I know a lot of close friends and family were genuinely concerned about me. That added pressure dragged me down a lot. However, I knew that doing what I needed to do for myself would serve as reassurance for both myself and those around me. Since I started hitting my roadbumps, I’ve accomplished a lot. I reserve the right to brag a little since I was able to escape the rut I was in for so long.

I’ve been MIA for a while on here and so I haven’t been able to share my successes with you guys and it’s sucked. I’ve wanted so badly to hop on here and tell you all what I’ve been up to, but I feared that the second I shared it, it would all go away. But now I’m fairly confident that the work I’ve put in so far has put me in a safe spot.

I’m doing really well in my classes and I’ve already made a few of those “we’re-in-the-same-class-so-we’ll-be-friends-for-the-semester” friends. My instructors are alright, I suppose. One of them is already the kind of instructor I wish all of them were- relatable. He likes the same types of music as me and makes my kinds of jokes. I expect a lot of great things from his classes I’m taking.

In the love life department, I’m just doing me. I love myself more than I have ever loved myself. I feel confident and independent, and I’ve been trusting myself to make the best decisions possible. I have definitely met a few guys who have drawn my interest, but I’m not ready to devote myself to anyone other than me right now. I’m so happy with my life the way it is. If I do, however, find someone that I feel I cannot live without, I’ll be careful. Then again, I may not have to be. Now I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. I’ve learned what I love about love and what I don’t care for. I guess you could say I narrowed down the search. But again, this will all be in due time.

I have some big things in the works that I’m not ready to announce yet, but as soon as things are set in stone, I’ll be announcing it everywhere like it’s my job (I guess it sort of is)!

Finally, thank you to everyone for the support on my last post. I miss you guys and I might just be ready to come back!

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What We Can All Learn From Cameron Boyce’s Untimely Death

Image result for cameron boyce

Today I had a different post scheduled to go up. However, with the recent news of Cameron Boyce’s passing, I wanted to make this post instead. It’s something that has been on my mind for quite some time and now is the perfect time to share it with everyone.

Before getting into my message, let’s reflect on Cameron Boyce.

Boyce passed away in his sleep after suffering from a seizure linked to an ongoing medical condition, according to his family’s spokesperson. He was 20 years old. In his short years on Earth, he became a familiar face to those who watched Disney Channel productions such as Jessie and Descendants, or Adam Sandler’s films Grown Ups and Grown Ups 2. These are only a few of his many performances that grew his massive following.

He was also a philanthropist who devoted a lot of his time to the Thirst Project, a non-profit organization that brings clean drinking water to areas where it is not readily accessible. In one of his last interviews, he mentioned that he wanted to be a ‘difference maker.’ He said, “many people have the heart to give back, but a lot don’t know how to. I try to be the bridge for those people – whether that means getting them involved in one of my campaigns or inspiring them by showing them a blueprint of how to get others engaged.” While most Disney actors are practically required to give off an image of innocence and selflessness, he radiated that energy naturally.

Boyce was the first Disney actor from our time to pass away, which has introduced a new type of pain and greiving to the many viewers/fans of Boyce’s work. We grew up watching him grow up. We welcomed him into our home each time he appeared on our television. Whenever an actor our parents watch passes, it doesn’t necessarily hit home for us as much as Cameron’s passing has for so many our age.

His death should go as a reminder to those of you who may have forgotten- life is short and unpredictable. As previously mentioned, Cameron Boyce was a fresh 20 years old when he passed. It is safe to assume that he had much planned for his future that he did not get to achieve in his lifetime. Perhaps he had plans for days, weeks, months, years down the road that can no longer be fulfilled.

 Any second could be your last. Any second could be someone you love’s last. We cannot waste a second of our time being anything less than grateful for all our life has offered us. We are never promised another day. Live in the moment. Appreciate everything. Holding grudges or resentment toward others is a waste of your precious time and can also prevent you from making the sweetest memories. Spread love, hope, positivity, strength, and support always. And while you are working to make your life all you’ve ever wanted it to be, don’t be too busy to help boost others when they need it. They say being a good person doesn’t cost you anything, and they’re right. And the payout is even greater. Knowing that you’re enough to help others is an amazing feeling I hope all of you get to feel one day if not now.

 

Of course my condolences are with Cameron’s friends, family, and millions of fans at this time.

80 Things To Do This Summer

Hey guys! Happy Monday! I hope everyone’s had a great summer so far. I missed last Monday’s upload because of the endless chaos at home preparing for my sister’s graduation party. We decided to host the party at our house so we had to clean the entire house, paint the bathroom, do yardwork, clean the garage, set up the tents tables and chairs, and decorate. Yeah, I bet you can imagine the absolute headache I had. But now I’m back and ready to post more!

I’m definitely one of those people who fantasizes about all the things I want to do during the summer but when the time comes, I blank on ideas. To make sure it doesn’t happen to me (or anyone else) this year, I’ve come up with a list of 80 fun things to do this summer.

1. Run in a 5k race.

2. Have a bonfire.

3. Do volunteer work.

4. Make chalk art.

5. Go camping.

6. Have a garage sale.

7. Watch the sunrise.

8. Watch the sunset.

9. Go swimming.

10. Donate old clothes.

11. Watch fireworks

12. Go for a picnic.

13. Go on a road trip.

14. Go see a new movie.

15. Go to a festival/fair.

16. Tie-dye t-shirts.

17. Dye your hair a crazy color.

18. Make a smoothie with farmers market fruits.

19. Go shopping at a flea market.

20. Go to a drive-in theater.

21. Make a Youtube channel.

22. Dance in the rain.

23. Pick fresh fruit.

24. Go to an aquarium.

25. Plant a garden.

26. Start a new Netflix series.

27. Take a bunch of Instagram pictures.

28. Visit pound puppies/kitties.

29. Adopt pound puppies/kitties.

30. Make a summer playlist.

31. Make a candle.

32. Make perfume.

33. Go couponing.

34. Go to the gym.

35. Get a tattoo.

36. Get a piercing.

37. Get a mani-pedi.

38. Leave the country.

39. Learn an instrument.

40. Redecorate your space.

41. Stand under a waterfall.

42. Learn a new recipe

43. Carve your name in a tree.

44. Write a blog.

45. Have a BBQ

46. Go to the zoo.

47. Go to a baseball game.

48. “Flip” your clothes.

49. Volunteer.

50. Make homemade ice cream.

51. Go mini golfing

52. Pay it forward.

53. Make fruit popsicles

54. Make homemade dog treats.

55. Start a coin collecting jar.

56. Go to the Fourth of July parade.

57. Adopt a highway.

58. Go to a museum.

59. Write a pen pal.

60. Spend a whole day without your phone.

61. Go to a concert.

62. Scrapbook the summer.

63. Fly a kite.

64. Make homemade pizza.

65. Make a new friend.

66. Play messy twister.

67. Ride on a train.

68. Shop local.

69. Go to a butterfly sanctuary.

70. Go to the library.

71. Go for a bike ride.

72. Do an escape room.

73. Write a book.

74. Go to a waterpark.

75. Make a time capsule.

76. Make a video diary.

77. Make a bullet journal.

78. Mow a neighbor’s lawn.

79. Collect pop tabs.

80. Make homemade bath bombs.

 

If you missed it, I made a Facebook page! It’s where I’ll be sharing behind the scenes work, life updates, and other fun things you won’t see here! Check it out and drop a like!

https://www.facebook.com/MegannLouiseDotCom/