Hi guys! I hope everyone is doing well! I haven’t been posting in a while because my laptop took a dump on me (just my luck), but I couldn’t go without recognizing the four year anniversary of MegannLouise.com!
It’s insane to think that the support and encouragement of my best friend to share my writing led to one of my proudest accomplishments thus far. Sure, I took a few “vacations” here and there, but the passion I have for writing has never left. In these last 4 years, I’ve documented so much of my life on my blog… falling in love, falling out of love, moving into my first apartment, going to a new school, and so much more. I like to call my blog my public diary.
I have to admit that I was considering ending my blogging journey recently. I found myself in a rut creatively and couldn’t find any joy in what I was producing. I have to thank my awesome friend for saying something he may have forgotten about but I never will- “I don’t want to live in a world where you gave up on something you are so damn fucking good at. The world deserves it.” Honestly, if it wasn’t for that encouragement, I 100% believe I would have thrown in the towel. I’m so grateful for all of the love and support I’ve gotten from my friends, family, and readers. If you’ve ever backed me while I’ve explored my writing, I promise you it didn’t go unnoticed. Right now I am still dealing with tech issues that are preventing me from posting new content, but I promise that when everything is up and working again, there will be plenty of fun FRESH material up for you guys! Thank you so much for giving me a chance and keeping up with all the craziness I’ve been up to in the last four years! Here’s to four more!
Hi guys! I missed Monday’s upload intentionally. I felt it wasn’t a genuine post. I wanted this week to be all about genuine, raw emotions. I have a lot to talk about today. I want to address a lot of things and catch you up to speed.
It’s been chilly in Cleveland! As I’m writing this, I’m watching snow flurries out of my apartment window. I knew this warm weather was too good to be true. A good friend once said he’d take snow over rain because “at least the snow is nice to look at,” so I’ve been trying to follow that perspective while I put on my winter coat in the mornings.
School has been a little hard this semester. I missed my first week of classes to be with my family after the sudden and unexpected passing of my uncle. I won’t go into detail on that, but I’ll just say it was a very hard time for everyone. Then, only a couple weeks later, I got extremely sick and couldn’t go to classes. That put me yet another week behind schedule. I try not to get overwhelmed by things out of my control, but it’s been tough lately. I ultimately decided to drop a class that felt nearly impossible to catch up in. I am now taking 12 credit hours rather than 15. I’m still considered a full-time student and I still have a lot of work to do!
I’ve been using this week to pinpoint what makes me happy. I’ve spent so much more time with friends, which is wonderful. I’ve gone out to dinner, sang in the shower, treated myself to lots of desserts, etc. It’s been great. I feel so refreshed. I really wanted to give myself a break from the mess that 2020 has been thus far.
Clearly, not everything is great right now. There’s some things I’m dealing with that I don’t want to make public. But I want you to know that it’s not “all good in the neighborhood” because I’d rather be transparent than portray a false image of my life.
Next week’s post will be up on Monday as usual. It’ll be back to routine I promise.
Can you believe this is my third year writing my yearly recap? I can’t!
So for those who don’t know, at the end of every year I like to highlight some of my highs and lows of the year (see Paying Homage to 2017, Paying Homage to 2018). I started in 2017 as a casual post, not thinking I would keep up with it the following years. I always consider the third time to be what establishes something as a tradition, so here we are guys! It’s officially a Megann Louise tradition!
In last year’s recap, I said I was going to make 2019 my bitch. Well, we win some, we lose some, right? Whenever I look back on this year I get a bad taste in my mouth. I know a lot of great things happened, but I also experienced a lot of heartache. I’d consider this year to be one of great growth for me.
At the start of the year, I got to see Cody Ko and Noel Miller live with my sister and friend James. Their Youtube videos were what got me through a lot of hard stuff so it was wild that I was in the same room as them.
In May I finished my first year of college at CSU. I ended up making the Dean’s List, which I would not have expected at the beginning of the year. I finally decided on the right major for me in that time too- communication.
I moved out of my first apartment in May, too. It was the ending of an era, I suppose. That place became my home. I made so many wild memories in apartment 509. As sad as I was leaving, I felt a weird sense of relief too. I was leaving behind a piece of me, which was sort of sad, but I knew I was starting a new chapter.
In July, I surprised my sister with a party for her 18th birthday. It was pretty last minute, but all her friends pitched in and helped me make things work. I was so grateful for everybody’s help in making it such a success. Being able to do something like that for my sister was so special to me.
Then there was a bump in the road. I said goodbye to a nearly two year relationship. Things just don’t work out sometimes and it’s for the best. I still have a ridiculous amount of love and respect for my ex. He’s a great guy…. just not my soulmate. And that’s alright. It took me a while to move past the heartbreak, which is to be expected when you were with someone for a long time. He is genuinely one of my best friends and I’m so lucky to still have him to confide in whenever I need him. While some would expect me to be sad that the relationship ended, I’m glad that I’m still lucky enough to have a friend in him.
For a while after the break up, I was in a really dark place and couldn’t seem to find the way out. I didn’t feel half as confident as I once did. I suppose it’s normal (but in no way healthy) to dog on yourself after a break up… at least for a little while. After I was finally able to get myself out of bed, I was going out to get my mind off of everything. That’s where the fun came in.
First, we went to see Granger Smith. The story behind that one is a little random. We had gone to Walmart and there were two tour buses in the parking lot (which obviously isn’t a normal thing). Turns out Granger was at Walmart! We didn’t get to see him there, but we took it as a sign that we should buy two tickets to the show that was only hours away. I have to say that that was one of the best nights I’d had in a while. The rush we felt after buying the tickets was insane. We immediately ran to get ready and blasted Granger throughout the house.
The very next night, we were invited to tag along to a Foreigner concert. I didn’t know too many songs (I know, what’s wrong with me?!) but I still had such a good time. I think that’s one of the first nights where I was able to fully drop every bad thought at the door and enjoy myself.
In late August, I moved back to Cleveland with my little sister for school. We got a new place with two other roommates that’s a lot nicer than the one I lived in the year before. I started what is the second semester of my sophomore year. Rianna, my sister, began her first semester as a freshman! The semester came with a lot of adjusting for us both and somehow we made it through all of the headaches.
For the second year in a row, my dad, sister, and I went to the Cleveland Air Show. When I was little, my dad always talked about taking us. Then finally last year, we got to go. I’ll be honest- I didn’t think I’d enjoy it all that much. But it was so much fun, that I was jumping up and down over getting to go again this year. I’d love for this to become a tradition!
To reward ourselves for kicking butt the first few weeks of school, Rianna and I went to our first Cleveland Indian’s game! I’ve never been a die hard baseball fan, but the atmosphere was so fun and I really enjoyed myself. I was still trying to recover from a lot mentally so that night was a breath of fresh air for me. Fun fact- I also bought my first legal drink at the game!
School got progressively more challenging and I went into a downward spiral. I started doing things I swore to myself I would never do. I just lost control of who I was. That’s when I reintroduced myself to faith. I let myself stray from religion in the past few years and by coming back, I felt myself finding closure and motivation to overcome everything I was facing.
Then I did something out of my comfort zone. After having several deep talks with my friend Kaleb, I found motivation to share my story. I went live on Instagram. I came clean about everything I had been feeling because I hoped being transparent would not only help me, but help someone watching. I was open about things that most people would consider taboo. Laying it all out on the table really helped me see the bigger picture. I even got some super sweet messages from people who watched to livestreams. There was so much support and understanding. It was beautiful. I don’t imagine I’ll ever get over that.
Shortly after, I reconnected with a friend I made during my first semester of school at CSU. We got lunch and caught each other up on our lives. We both had some wild stories to tell and a lot of laughs to share. I was really excited to have this friend in my life because he was absolutely hysterical and genuinely a great guy to be around.
I’m so excited to be saying goodbye to this transformative decade. I’ve got a lot of goals for 2020. I want to make it a year of hard work and big steps. I refuse to end 2020 in the same place that I start it. It’s time to grow, baby!
Thank you to everyone who stuck around for another year as well as those who stumbled upon my site this year! You guys make each and every year so special. I hope you all have a magnificent new year and get all you want and need!
Earlier today I joined family, friends, and members of my community in walking to end the stigma around mental health and reduce the suicide rate by 25% by 2025. Roughly 1600 people were in attendance in Cleveland as we heard stories from survivors and families of those who lost their battle.
Suicide has impacted my life in so many different ways and I felt that this year I was ready to attend a walk and expose myself to others who come from similar experiences. When we arrived, I was amazed. I didn’t expect to feel so much overwhelming support and solidarity from everyone there.
Prior to walk day, those registered (and even some who had not registered) collected donations for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. Together, we raised over $146,000 which was more than our targeted amount for the walk! One team alone collected $8,000 in donations!
At the walk, participants wore different colored beaded necklaces to represent why they walked. I did not originally plan on representing myself at this walk, but after walking around and seeing others doing the same, I gathered the courage to don a green beaded necklace. This symbolized my personal struggle with suicidal thoughts and mental health. I’m not one who likes to broadcast my struggles- especially in a society where it’s taken as a plea for attention. However, today felt like a day where I could be open about my struggles with mental health and not be judged or ashamed.
My team and I also sported buttons with the names of those we walked for. I was proud to carry the names of my loved ones close to my heart as I walked. Writing the several names down on the buttons and seeing the different names each person had on theirs was chilling. It was hard to process that so many people know of more than one person who lost their life to suicide.
Before we began walking throughout Cleveland, we heard the story of a widow who had lost her husband only a few short years ago. She talked about the time leading up to her husband’s passing as well as her adjustment afterward. Hearing her story was sobering.
I can list several people whose lives crossed paths with mine that have taken their own lives- friends, relatives, classmates, members of my community. It’s a painful reality that we are hoping to change each and every day.
Today I walked for those I knew.
Today I walked for myself.
Today I walked for anybody who needed or needs help getting out of the darkness.
I look forward to doing this walk again in the future and sharing more memories with the community of survivors and loved ones of those who have passed on.
I am still collecting donations to go toward the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention! If you would like to donate, click here!
Hey guys! It’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted anything on here so I’m checking in to let you all know I’m alive and well.
School’s been keeping me fairly busy. Everyday I’ve got some sort of assignment whether it be a lengthy paper, an online lecture, or reading. I won’t lie though. I’ve had several opportunities to sit down and write this update for you guys, but whenever I went to write something, I got exhausted and needed a nap. I mean, I’m running on barely 5 hours of sleep everyday so do you blame me?
Anyway, school’s been really good so far. I’m currently Team Straight A’s, which is something I’m going to flex until I can’t anymore… because I totally deserve it. I’ve been bringing home 100% quizzes and exams weekly. Don’t ask me how… I haven’t figured that part out yet to be honest with you.
Since I’ve gotten back to school I’ve gotten to catch up with so many friends from last year and I’ve felt my heart grow bigger and bigger. I never realized how much I missed them until I got to see them again and I didn’t want to ever say goodbye to them. I’ve also made a bunch of new friends that I can already see being in my wedding (if there ever is one lol). So I guess my sociability has really expanded since I moved back.
I know you guys know I went through some shit a month ago and was in a really dark place, so I wanted to touch on that real quick (again).
I’m doing so well it’s almost scary. I feel so much more power, confidence, and happiness now. I’ve been doing live streams on Instagram every Sunday where I talk about my trials and tribulations and offer advice and understanding to those who need it. Since I started doing the streams, I’ve gotten so many messages from people who have been going through their own battles. I promised myself that my pain wouldn’t be in vain and that I would use my voice to help others going through things too. Let me tell you- it has been the biggest reward. I’m still working on finding the perfect time to do live streams so that the most people can watch them live, but as of right now I go live at 6 pm EST and it hasn’t been so bad. If you’re interested in watching, set an alarm and be ready with popcorn tomorrow when we talk about confidence!
I’m so excited to bring new content to this blog and solidify what I want this website to be. I know I’ve been really wishy washy about my content and that’s not cool so I’m making it a goal of mine to get my act together and decide on what I’m going to do. I have a lot of things planned, but I want to really think every little move out before I execute it now. In the meantime, check out some of my older posts and let me know what you like best!
I’ve taken a lot of my online presence over to Instagram and Twitter so make sure to follow me on there to keep up to date on things like my livestreams and personal goals!
As most of you probably know by now, I’ve really been going through it this past month or so. Lots has gone on that’s forced me to make massive changes in my life and ultimately turn into a completely different version of myself. I went through a break-up, a move, health concerns, friend drama, my first week of classes, and a lot of little things that started adding up.
Through all of those changes and bumps in the road, there was one thing that kept me grounded. One thing that stayed no matter who/what left- me. Out of all of the mantras of love and happiness that were preached to me through it all, the hugs and open hearts, knowing that I was still here for me was what kept me going.
I had to prove to myself that I have what it takes to make changes in my life that can be beneficial for me. I relied so heavily on other people to give me what I wanted and needed. At the time I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I felt comfortable and secure with where I was at. But now, looking back at who I was even a month ago disgusts me. I wasn’t doing anything for myself. I didn’t want to better myself unless someone else took that first step for me.
A part of me hates admitting that… especially online to people who build their opinions of me on what I say and do on this website. But admitting it is liberating in a way too. Being able to say that that’s who I was and not who I am feels really good. I know a lot of close friends and family were genuinely concerned about me. That added pressure dragged me down a lot. However, I knew that doing what I needed to do for myself would serve as reassurance for both myself and those around me. Since I started hitting my roadbumps, I’ve accomplished a lot. I reserve the right to brag a little since I was able to escape the rut I was in for so long.
I’ve been MIA for a while on here and so I haven’t been able to share my successes with you guys and it’s sucked. I’ve wanted so badly to hop on here and tell you all what I’ve been up to, but I feared that the second I shared it, it would all go away. But now I’m fairly confident that the work I’ve put in so far has put me in a safe spot.
I’m doing really well in my classes and I’ve already made a few of those “we’re-in-the-same-class-so-we’ll-be-friends-for-the-semester” friends. My instructors are alright, I suppose. One of them is already the kind of instructor I wish all of them were- relatable. He likes the same types of music as me and makes my kinds of jokes. I expect a lot of great things from his classes I’m taking.
In the love life department, I’m just doing me. I love myself more than I have ever loved myself. I feel confident and independent, and I’ve been trusting myself to make the best decisions possible. I have definitely met a few guys who have drawn my interest, but I’m not ready to devote myself to anyone other than me right now. I’m so happy with my life the way it is. If I do, however, find someone that I feel I cannot live without, I’ll be careful. Then again, I may not have to be. Now I’ve learned what works and what doesn’t. I’ve learned what I love about love and what I don’t care for. I guess you could say I narrowed down the search. But again, this will all be in due time.
I have some big things in the works that I’m not ready to announce yet, but as soon as things are set in stone, I’ll be announcing it everywhere like it’s my job (I guess it sort of is)!
Finally, thank you to everyone for the support on my last post. I miss you guys and I might just be ready to come back!
As some of you may have seen, I had written a piece about how I was coping with an excrutiating break-up. I didn’t know which way was up anymore. I was clinging onto the idea of something that was so far gone it was laughable. I later read through the post and after speaking to some friends and family (and my ex), I decided that the post, however honest, did more harm than good. So in less than 24 hours, the post was removed. Although I am very puzzled about the behavior of my ex and the recent events that have taken place, I still have the utmost respect for him; especially online.
However, I did say in that post that when I signed up to be a blogger, I pretty much signed up to share some of my personal experiences and emotions with everyone. Everyone who has told me what a beautiful couple we were deserves to know that it’s over. As much as I hate to write a post talking about my break-up and the hell I’ve been going through, I have hope that it will reach someone who is going through the same thing to show that everyone goes through it at some point and it’s ok to grieve in a different way than most do.
I, for one, had no idea where to start. This was my longest relationship (nearing 2 years) so I had never been so attached and comfortable with someone before. To shut off that part of my brain that was so used to talking everyday and cuddling every night was a huge request. I felt myself being backed into a corner where no matter what I did, I was going to lose. So something in me told me to go down fighting. I said things I shouldn’t have, and did things that were out of character for me. Again, let me remind everyone that people go through break-ups in different ways. I happened to live in a state of panic for weeks. Panic about my future, about having to tell other people, about the embarrassment of a failed relationship (yeah I was embarrassed. So stupid, right?!).
There were days where I lashed out at my family, friends, and ex because of my inability to process my emotions. It was like every second there was a new thought in my head that triggered a new feeling. My mind was working against me. I think the best time I’ve been able to describe that feeling was yesterday when I spoke to my dad on the phone. I told him I recognized my emotions were not my own. I felt like someone had taken over and I clocked out. Anything I said, did, or felt was purely out of my control. Maybe nobody will understand that and you’ll think I’m crazy, but it was just like going into autopilot to cope. The only difference is if this was a plane, we would have crashed.
I’m a very emotional person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I love, I love hard. I jump the gun sometimes, but either way, the feelings are there. The worst part of that (and something I hope to change) is that I devote all my time and energy into my relationship. I’m constantly thinking about this person and what I can do to show them I love them. Thinking about them and having them in my life is an addiction. So when I get blindsided, I have to force myself to stop thinking that way. I still haven’t gotten to that point yet if I’m being honest. I still think about “my bub” and how I would kill for some more time with him. He would always tell me about how the bridge of my nose was cold so I still touch my nose and think about how sweet and innocent those moments were. But I’m taking baby steps.
My friend David put it perfectly. He said that he was my drug. Now whenever I think about texting or calling him to beg like a loser, I’m relapsing. So I finally, after weeks of making an utter fool of myself, decided to quit cold turkey. No contact. It’s time to focus on me and all the goals I’ve ever had for myself. It was the kick in the ass that I needed.
To get a little deep here, I’m worried about myself. I’ve spent nearly two years recieving attention, happiness, love, and understanding from someone special and now I have to learn how to give that to myself. I started dating this person when I was 19. I was still new to college life and being an adult, so I was still growing. Now I’m 21. I grew along side him and figured out life with him in it. I guess I just feel like I took two steps back because now I have to figure out all of this stuff about myself again, just without him. Again, maybe what I’m saying won’t make sense to anyone since we handle things differently, but I’m trying to be transparent here.
I know I’ll get through this because I’ve gotten through far worse. I never made it out 100% like I was before, but that’s the point, right? Pain teaches a lesson. I’m ready to see what the world has in store for me. I’m already finding the motivation to do so much for myself that I usually dismissed. This could be my time to shine. I’m just frightened over the time and effort it will take to get to that point.
I absolutely love that man with every inch of my being. My friends and family say I shouldn’t say that anymore. Some say I shouldn’t even love him anymore. But I know that my love for him will never go away. It may change, but it will always- ALWAYS- be there. He was my best friend and partner in crime for so long. He listened to me whenever I was upset, held me when I felt I was falling apart, and put me back on track when I was losing sight of things. He knew about my faults and still chose to love me. If I could say anything to him, it would be thank you. He helped me feel like I was beautiful and special, even if I lost that feeling when he left. In the time that we were together, I gained so much confidence in myself that I could not have found without him and his constant reassurance. It helped me with a lot like my first apartment by myself, my first year away from my family, my first full year of college, etc.
I refuse to bash him. We weren’t perfect for each other and we both made mistakes that hurt the other person, but he was my favorite person for two years. He was my protector, caretaker, lover, best friend, and so much more. Even though I’ve messed up a lot recently with how I’ve gone about things, I don’t think it’s fair anymore to put him down.
It feels good to speak highly of him… to be able to say I was lucky enough to fall in love with someone like him makes me happy. But for the time being, there will be no more posts about my break-up or anything about my ex.
I will most likely be taking a break from writing while I get myself out of a dark place, and I hope everyone understands. I may come back on occasion for updates or if I feel like I’m at a good spot at that time. Otherwise, I will be gone.
If you want to keep tabs on me and make sure I’m not losing my head, follow me on Instagram and Twitter (@_megannlouise_) for the latest updates on my life.
I also have a Facebook page which I will try to use more often now. To like the page, click here.
Yesterday my sister graduated high school. I watched her walk across the stage with her honors tassel, get her diploma from our dad (the School Board President) and toss her cap in the air with the rest of her small class. It was weird thinking that she’s grown up now. Just two years ago, I was the one graduating and she was still learning how to be a student, not an adult.
It really had me reflecting on what all has happened to me in the past two years since I received my diploma. I’ve learned a lot in those two short years and it has shaped me into a completely different person. So what has happened?
1. I got my first job.
I wrote about this before, but I worked for the Boys and Girls Club Association in my hometown. I got to work with kids, which I absolutely love. Teaching them and showing them that not everyone is a bad guy was amazing. Being a role model to kids who not always had the best home lives is rewarding in and of itself, but getting paid to do it made it even better. I met so many different people who loved helping children and it was inspiring. At the time, I was an early childhood education major so it was a great experience for me.
2. I quit my first job.
Damn right I did. Five months later and I was out of that hell hole. To this day, I miss my little kiddos that never failed to put a smile on my face. But the other employees from top to bottom were not the crowd for me. After a while, I learned that I had to do what was best for myself and I turned in my resignation. I remember telling the kids I was leaving. It was torture. But now I’m out of a toxic workplace and I’m feeling so much better. No job is worth my sanity, dignity, and time.
3. I fell in love.
I fell in love with my best friend almost instantly. We met 10 months before we started dating. I had graduated high school already and he was at the beginning of his senior year. My friends and I supported him at every Friday night football game. We slowly got closer and closer and then we started dating. When we started dating I felt something different about him. You know how kids feel safe whenever they have a certain teddy bear or blanket with them? He’s my teddy bear/blanket. He’s helped me come out of my shell a lot. I’ve been much better with my anxiety since he’s been there to help me. I’ve never met someone so patient and kind. He really is the best boyfriend ever- although I might be a bit biased- and I love him more and more each day.
4. I went to college.
In the fall after I graduated high school I attended a community college but it just wasn’t for me. I was looking into switching majors and they didn’t have my major, so I made the switch to a bigger university. It was the best decision of my life. I was so much happier. I took a semester off between schools to recalibrate and dedicate more time to that job I mentioned earlier. Once I got to move out on my own and get out of my suffocating hometown, I flourished. I made new friends, learned new things about myself, and got to grow into who I was supposed to be. Being in a big city was super different but with the help of my boyfriend and my new friends, it was manageable.
5. I made the Dean’s List.
After a stressful semester and a lot of hard work, I made the Dean’s list in the spring. I surprised myself with that one. I got roughly 28 hours of sleep a week and the only thing keeping me awake most days was coffee. I was constantly studying or planning time to study. It was an endless cycle of stress for me so getting the news that I made the Dean’s list was really rewarding. Now that I’ve found a major that I like, I’m excited to see how it impacts my grades in the future.
After thinking about all the things that went on after graduation, I’ve thought of a lot of advice I would give people in the position I was in two years ago. I know a lot of it is cliche but I genuinely mean every word I say. If even one piece of advice helps one person, all this Hallmark channel bullshit will be worth it.
1. Don’t let other people influence you.
I did this a lot in high school and once I was out, I realized how much control I really had over my life that I had never known before. When you’re chasing the trends or following the crowds, it’s easy to lose control of yourself without noticing it. Use this time to sit down by yourself and make a loose plan for the future. Don’t let yourself think one time about other people’s plans or interests. Think about where you want to be in five years, ten years, etc. Make it your goal to get there.
2. Make memories
Don’t let anything stop you from enjoying these years of your life while they last. Eventually you won’t be able to do these things anymore. The life you live now is what the younger you dreamt of, so you have to make it something he/she would be proud of. The life you’ll live in 10 or 20 plus years will not be like how it is now, I promise you. Make the best of life now so you can look back at it and say you lived it right.
3. Don’t dwell.
Guilty as charged. But please, whatever you do, don’t dwell on the negatives. Bad things happen to everyone. But the way you recover from them says more about you. Don’t waste your time thinking about the bad things that have happened to you in the past. Spend your time making sure the good things are coming your way. We always remember all the little things that go wrong instead of the little things that go right. We need to fix that.
4. Be open to change.
You have to realize that you won’t be the same person forever. The environment around you will change, your friends and family will change, you will change. Be open to it. Be welcoming to change. I had to teach myself that growing up and achieving my goals required alterations to my life. It was hard at first and I was definitely guarded. With time it got easier and now I cross my fingers every day hoping for more changes because that means I’m one step closer to being the best version of myself.
A county over, a state over, a country over- who cares? Just travel. Meet new people and visit new places. Remind yourself that this world is bigger than your hometown. You could end up anywhere in the future and that’s really helped me open up my eyes. I didn’t go too far from home, but it was just far enough to give me a taste of diversity.
6. Love with your whole heart.
No half-assed love here. If you love someone, prove it. Nobody is required to stay in your life forever. You need to show them what they mean to you. Give them attention, support, and stability. And if you aren’t willing to do that, let them go. Don’t be selfish. Love wholeheartedly or not at all.
7. Leave your judgment behind.
If you think you can leave high school and keep being a judgmental prick, you have another thing coming. It’s not cool dude. I was that person who judged every book by its cover. Once I went off to college I got to know people for who they really were- their interests, stories, and personalities. Life outside of high school isn’t cliquey and I don’t think I want that to change. So don’t bring that shit into the real world, please and thank you.
I figured it was about time to update everyone on my schooling and other things going on. I finished the semester up last Wednesday and most of my final grades seem to be in (although there’s a couple classes that will definitely wait until the day final grades are due to release them).
After a long semester, I got a 99% on my math final which gave me an A in the class. In one of my history classes, I got 100% on my final and managed to get a final grade of an A in the class. After cramming for my bio exam only 5 hours before the exam (typical meg fashion) I got an 87% and ended the semester with an A in the class. Although I never took a real exam for my communication class, I ended the semester with a B. Taking my intro to com class online was a disadvantage to me for a few reasons- tech difficulties being one. I missed a few assignments due to wifi slip-ups and computer crashes, but I’m still happy I was able to mostly make up for them at the end of the semester. My Middle Eastern History and Bio lab final grades are not in yet and I expect that they won’t be for a while, so I can’t really determine what my GPA will be just yet.
I’m moving out of my apartment on Wednesday and heading back to my hometown for the summer. Next fall I’ll be moving into an apartment much closer to campus so I guess leaving the place I’ve called my second home for the past nine months will be worth it. It’s still going to be really hard to say goodbye to my bigger bedroom and own kitchen though. I’m really grateful for the opportunities this year has given me. I’ve gotten to live alone, and who knows if I’ll ever get to do that again?
I’m looking into getting a job this summer after I get a bit of time to settle back in at home. I’d like to be working a lot to save up for rent, groceries, etc. once school starts back up. So before I really start looking around for work, I’m hoping to spend lots of time with my friends while I can.
That being said, in my free time I plan to be writing a bit more. It’s been really weird not writing. I’ve had quite a few impulses to start writing but I didn’t want to start posting if I was just going to stop abruptly again due to school. But now I have a few months to get myself together and write a little more. I’ve got some ideas for the future of this site and I’m hoping to implement them this summer.
Thank you to everyone who supported me when I took a semester off last year and when I went back to school in the fall. Everyone’s kind words and well wishes these past nine months have been really appreciated. I’m super excited to go back in the fall (I know, who says that?!) and explore my major even further.
Also, I’ve changed my update schedule to every Monday at noon, so keep an eye out for my new posts!