Posted on December 16, 2018
I haven’t written to you in so long. Perhaps it was because any time you wrote back, you used ink from our printer and that added up… not cool. But I miss writing you and feeling all the magic in the air whenever I’d get a response. I really miss how exciting Christmas used to be. But now I’m 20 and I no longer ask for toys under the tree.
This year, I have other things in mind.
With one semester in the books, I’ve run out of a lot of the necessities for a college student- determination and patience. I’d love if you could replenish me. I have a very tough spring semester coming up and that would help a lot.
Also, this crazy weather… can you control that? I’m tired of wearing snow boots one day and rain boots the next. I know Ohio is notorious for the bipolar weather, but maybe just this Christmas we could make an exception. I don’t drive, so I always have to plan my grocery shopping around the warm days that I can walk to the store in. It would be nice if we could have warm weather (relatively warm for winter anyway) before Christmas. But of course we need to have snow on the ground by the 25th. If you could talk to Mother Nature or whoever is in charge, that would be awesome.
I’d also like to ask for a wonderful holiday with my family. I want to be in the Christmas spirit this year. I want us all to be. I want to be able to enjoy the season without my mind being preoccupied this year. So many Christmases have gone to waste and I don’t need it to happen again.
Finally, I’d like to thank you. Thank you for being such a huge part of my childhood. Thank you for giving me something magical to believe in. Thank you for proving to me that an imagination can fight the war in our minds.
The Heart of a Little Girl
Posted on June 14, 2018
Ex Best Friend Hannah,
It’s been a while since we’ve really talked. Sure we’ve exchanged a few words on Instagram, but that’s all. It’s not like how it used to be, and for reasons only a select few truly know and understand. But that’s ok. I like it better that way. I won’t go into detail about what happened between us since you already know. And although this is an open letter, it’s for you.
It wasn’t easy for me to lose my best friend. I felt like I lost my sister. The pain I felt was similar to grieving the death of someone. Perhaps I was grieving the death of a friendship… that would make sense. For weeks after our split (that makes it sound like we were dating), I sat in bed and tried to convince myself that it was only a small bump in the road. But it wasn’t. It was a head on collision.
Time seemed to go by slower once we stopped talking. I know we had distanced a little beforehand, but this was even harder. I remember nights where I was going through something awful and the only words I could get out were “I want Hannah.” But you’re not Beetlejuice so saying your name didn’t bring you nearer.
I’m reminded of our adventures whenever I scroll through my Snapchat memories or Timehop notifications. I remember when we went to the fair for only a few minutes until I got upset over a boy so you took me to McDonald’s. We made fun of the truck in front of us for having their tow mirrors out when they weren’t towing anything. “Gotta look like big tough country folk with our big tow mirrors.” I remember our field trip senior year to D.C. when we bought ice cream and hid away in your hotel room. To this day, the littlest things can trigger memories. Whenever I’m out shopping and see mermaid things, my mind goes straight to you.
Thank you for the nearly ten years of friendship. Each moment we spent together helped build me into the person I am now. I still hear you in my head telling me how dumb I am when I make stupid decisions and I know I’ll have your guidance with me even if I don’t have you.
No matter what happened to us, I will still always love you for being the best friend a girl could ever ask for. You supported me, kept me sane (sometimes, anyway), and gave me great advice. It’s been roughly ten months since we stopped talking, but it feels like a lifetime without you.
I hope you succeed in all that you go after, and achieve all your dreams you’ve had since you were young. I’m still silently rooting for you in the shadows.
Posted on January 16, 2018
My dearest Zachary,
With this special day just about over when I’m writing this, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much you mean to me. We’ve known each other for about a year, and the whole time you’ve been leaving your mark on me. Whenever I slip and say one of your signature phrases, I know that a piece of you is always with me.
You’ve been such an important part of my life for the past year- even when I really couldn’t stand you. You were the one I could always count on to cheer me up at school when I was having a bad day. I always knew that you’d either say something funny or just do something so stupid that it would make me laugh uncontrollably. Once we became good friends, I realized that you were so much more than just a person to laugh at/with. You were someone with aspirations that so few would ever imagine. You’re deeper than what I thought. You were in tough with your emotions in a way that I had never seen any other guy be. You cared for people so much more than I ever could. It amazed me. To this day, I am amazed by all that you are.
Our past few months together have been noting short of unbelievable. You’ve slow danced with me in my room until I’ve fallen over laughing and sang with me at the top of our lungs during car rides. Whenever we’re together, it feels like the happy parts of any Hallmark movie. Sometimes the smiles we have on our faces start to hurt, but we still can’t make them go away. But I really never want them to. Our smiles mean something so special to me. Especially when we’re laughing together. We laugh about the dumbest things until we’re red in the face (which isn’t hard since we both are a couple of tomatoes).
But with every high comes a low. We’ve been there for each other through questions of faith, personal heartache, and so much more. Although it seemed easy at times, we never gave up on each other. Some things we went through were so much more than people our age should ever have to go through, but not once did we leave each other’s side. And I think that speaks volumes about our relationship.
Now, since it’s your birthday (or at least it was before I posted this), I want to thank you for a few things- 18 things to be exact.
I want you to know that I am always on your side. I will root for you even when nobody else does. When you feel like you’re alone, remember you’ve got me now, and you’ll have me always. You’re the best thing to ever happen to me Zachary.
Happy (late) birthday.
I love you.