Answering the Most Beautiful Questions

Hi guys and happy Monday! We’re back on schedule with weekly posts, ladies and gentlemen!

Not long ago I was scrolling through Instagram and I saw an account had shared “The Most Beautiful Questions.” I flipped through them and quickly answered them all to myself. I was blown away by how unique the questions were as well as how hard they were to answer. So of course I had to bring them to you guys!

What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
Oh there’s so much I would do. First of all, I would invest every second of every day into my writing and the dream job that I want. I would create my brand and live my dream life. I would fall in love with my life again. I would take more chances in general, I suppose.

How are you, really?
Right now, much better than I have been in years. I’m so happy, healthy, and motivated. Feeling so refreshed is such a blessing and I hope that it never goes away. I’m waking up excited to see what every day holds, and that’s so far from the life I was living even only a couple of months ago. I tried to use the unfortunate time COVID brought us in the most positive way- life auditing- and it really payed off.

Are you finding your dream job or are you creating it?
Hopefully both. More than anything in the world, I want to create content. But that’s a lot easier said than done. Since my unplanned break, I’ve had so much work to do in order to play catch up and make up for lost time. So clearly creating my dream job will take a little longer than expected. But I hope that I’ll get there one day. And until then, I hope to find something that is just as dreamy to get me by.

When was the last time you did something for the first time?
This question is interesting. I suppose it would be right now. I recently decided to start reading the bible in its entirety. I’m just starting out with little experience in all of this, so it’s been pretty challenging sometimes. But I’ve made an Instagram page for my bible studies and I’ve had so many sweet, kind hearted people DMing me with explanations and links to tools that can help me. But yeah, I think that’s the last time I did something for the first time.

Why are you worth knowing?
This question actually intimidated me. I had to take a second to sit and think about an answer. Is that bad? Generally speaking, I think I’m worth knowing because I’m a hard worker and I try to be true to myself. But that’s a really loaded question that I could take in so many different directions.

What or who lights you up?
So many things. So many people. Right now all I can think of is my sweetest sweetheart boyfriend who keeps me motivated and confident each and every single day. I’ve never met anyone who has connected with me on such a deep level and really touched my heart. Without a doubt, he is the reason for who I am today. He’s my hero.

How do you treat people who can do nothing for you?
I think everybody can do something for me, no matter how big or small. A lot of people who I have never met or even glanced at have done something for me. And you never really know when someone can or cannot do something for you, so I try to stay kind and appreciative.

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End of the Month Check-in | July 2020

Happy Friday guys! I originally wasn’t planning on posting today but I woke up with the urge to write, so here I am!

Something that I’ve been wanting to incorporate into my posting schedule is a monthly check-in. These will be very similar to my life audits, which I will be writing an instructional post on soon. In these check-ins, I’ll do a quick reflection of the last month and plan for the following month. I give myself ten minutes to complete the reflection so I’m not overthinking or overanalyzing things.

So let’s do July’s check-in to start things out!

I feel…

pretty good about how this month has gone for the most part. I think a lot of the decisions I made this month were in the best interests of myself and those around me.

I need…

to stop being so hard on myself. This month I noticed I was comparing myself to others a lot and getting down on myself. I need to pick myself up and dust myself up in August.

I forgive…

myself for being so mean to myself this month. These things happen. But just because I forgive myself doesn’t mean I’ll let it continue.

I celebrate…

getting a new laptop! I was without a functioning laptop for the entire month of July and I was really struggling. I used an old one from high school and honey, that poor thing has been seen better days. It feels good to be using a computer that doesn’t shut off on its own or delete my projects!

I release…

any bad energy I have stored deep inside me. That shit needs to go.

I trust…

myself to make the right decisions for myself, no matter how hard they may be. I also trust myself to think about the long/short term outcomes of my actions.

I hope…

to have a successful and productive August.

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4 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

Hi guys! I hope everyone is doing well! I haven’t been posting in a while because my laptop took a dump on me (just my luck), but I couldn’t go without recognizing the four year anniversary of MegannLouise.com!

It’s insane to think that the support and encouragement of my best friend to share my writing led to one of my proudest accomplishments thus far. Sure, I took a few “vacations” here and there, but the passion I have for writing has never left.
In these last 4 years, I’ve documented so much of my life on my blog… falling in love, falling out of love, moving into my first apartment, going to a new school, and so much more. I like to call my blog my public diary.


I have to admit that I was considering ending my blogging journey recently. I found myself in a rut creatively and couldn’t find any joy in what I was producing. I have to thank my awesome friend for saying something he may have forgotten about but I never will- “I don’t want to live in a world where you gave up on something you are so damn fucking good at. The world deserves it.” Honestly, if it wasn’t for that encouragement, I 100% believe I would have thrown in the towel.


I’m so grateful for all of the love and support I’ve gotten from my friends, family, and readers. If you’ve ever backed me while I’ve explored my writing, I promise you it didn’t go unnoticed.
Right now I am still dealing with tech issues that are preventing me from posting new content, but I promise that when everything is up and working again, there will be plenty of fun FRESH material up for you guys!


Thank you so much for giving me a chance and keeping up with all the craziness I’ve been up to in the last four years! Here’s to four more! 

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How I’m Staying Busy During Isolation

In a time like this, it’s easy to lose sight of all the positivity around us. So many of us are worried about the pandemic (myself included) and it’s hard to take our eyes off of the news. But for my own sanity, I’ve kept myself busy everyday.

If you follow me on Instagram, you can keep up with everything I’m doing while in isolation. I’ve even created a highlight appropriately named “Stay Home” that shows you all the things I’ve been doing to keep busy.

Like I’ve said in previous posts, I’m back at my family home. That means I have a back yard again! I spent a day with my sister cleaning up the backyard by raking up leaves, picking up sticks, and cutting dead branches off trees. We’ve been talking about breaking out my projector and watching a movie outside once the weather is nicer.

Before things got too bad where I’m living, I went out and bought some coloring books. I know it’s sort of juvenile, but coloring is really calming and out of all the times I’ve needed to relax, I think now tops them. I got markers and colored pencils at first, then at a later trip I discovered watercolor pencils (WHAT?!). They’re super cool and really entertaining to mess around with. All you have to do is dip the tip into some water and color just like a normal colored pencil.

I also love cleaning my room! When I moved out of my family house, I was too busy making sure I had everything to clean up my old space. I wish you guys could have seen how much stuff was thrown around my room. I have a closet filled with shoes that may or may not even be in pairs, storage bins filled with old junk I probably haven’t even touched since my senior year of high school (3 years ago), and jewelry I’ll literally never wear balled up on my dresser. Because things are so hectic and scary right now, I can’t get out to donate anything just yet, but I know that once things have simmered down I’ll have a lot to get rid of.

Every day has been an adjustment for us at the house. Being in a small town where the entertainment typically comes from late night trips to Walmart has been hard. I haven’t been in a store in maybe three weeks, only going when my grandparents or parents need something.

My sister and I took a quick trip to our apartment the other day to grab a few more of our things. At this point, we’re pretty much moved back home. We keep grabbing more things and bringing them home just to have. We’re not sure when we’ll be back at the apartment full time though. We’ve been told by some locals that things aren’t looking too great there.

Like always, I hope you and yours are staying safe.

Can’t wait for things to go back to “normal.”

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Coronavirus

Wherever you are, I hope you are staying safe, washing your hands (which you should have been doing regardless), and being mindful of others.

I’m currently spending week one of spring break at home with my family. We’ve been watching all the latest updates on COVID-19 and preparing for what may come. Are we bulk-buying toilet paper? No, but we are making sure we have what we need before it’s all picked over by the impulsive panic-buyers.

My university, like I said before, is on spring break this week. However, they have extended spring break another week and planned for online classes to begin the following week amidst positive coronavirus tests in our county as well as surrounding counties. While other universities have closed their doors for the semester, ours is planning to return to regular in-person lectures April 10th.

In the meantime, I ask everyone to practice good hygiene (I can’t believe I’m asking this) and be mindful of precautions established by the Center for Disease Control. You don’t need 50 rolls of Angel Soft or 20 boxes of Mac and Cheese… at least I didn’t see that on their website!

Also, for those who are not in the “risk group” for the virus, please keep in mind that while it may appear to be a simple cold that you will get over, you can easily pass it on to someone who cannot recover as easily, if at all.

Please stay home if you are sick.

To learn more information on COVID-19, click here to visit the CDC website. 

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Books I NEED To Read

I’ve never really had the time (or interest) to read. I used to love reading, but as I grew older, I felt a shift where I almost never picked up a book unless I absolutely had to… and even that was rare. But I recently decided that I want to change that.

I took my biweekly trip to Target with my sister the other day. It was one of the first times in a while that I wasn’t being rushed, so I thought I’d stop at the book section. I found myself drowning in so many options. My sister was not getting me out of the aisle no matter how hard she tried.

Unfortunately, groceries were top priority, so I could only get one book that trip. After ten minutes of going back and forth, I finally chose Own Your Everyday by Jordan Lee Dooley. It’s a beautiful book so far. It’s all about overcoming pressure and getting past whatever is holding you back. I really needed to read it right now. Perfect book, perfect timing.

But, like I said, there were a ton of books that I wanted to read. I was sure to jot down all the titles and authors so I could remember them all and start checking them off a list. I even looked online for even more books I may want to read.

 

The Little Book of Otter Philosophy by Jennifer McCartney

The Joy of Missing Out by Tonya Dalton

The Art of Breaking Up by hitRECord

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do by Amy Morin

Girl, Stop Apologizing by Rachel Hollis

Let Love Have the Last Word: A Memoir by Common

10% Happier by Dan Harris

The World According to Mister Rogers by Fred Rogers

Make Sh*t Happen by Alex Martin

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I Learned My Enneagram Type and It’s Wicked Accurate

In the past week, I’ve made several discoveries.

  1. I like the smell of cactus flower and coconut.
  2. I operate terribly when I pull all nighters.
  3. I am a enneagram type four.

I never really got into enneagrams and all that jazz because for the longest time, it confused me. I didn’t really understand what it meant or where it came from. But I finally caved and did a little research.

For those who don’t know, an enneagram is “a system of personality typing that describes patterns in how people conceptualize the world and manage their emotions,” according to Truity.com.

To determine my enneagram number, I took this quiz. It was short and FREE!

I ended up being a type four. What does this mean? Is it accurate?

Type Four is known as the individualist. This person is “self-aware, sensitive, and reserved,” according to the Enneagram Institute. I think I’d have to go ahead and agree with this one. Anyone who knows me knows that especially in new environments I am very reserved and try to stay pretty self-aware.

“While it is true that Fours often feel different from others, they do not really want to be alone. They may feel socially awkward or self-conscious, but they deeply wish to connect with people who understand them and their feelings. The “romantics” of the Enneagram, they long for someone to come into their lives and appreciate the secret self that they have privately nurtured and hidden from the world.”

Ok, that hit me like a truck. I can’t agree with this anymore. I love having time to myself, but I don’t like being alone/lonely at the end of the day. Wanting someone to appreciate my “secret self” is my ultimate dream, and in recent months, I’ve found myself worrying that I’m too different for someone to appreciate me in that way… which is another characteristic of a type four. Wild, right?

Addictions include, “Over-indulgence in rich foods, sweets, alcohol to alter mood, to socialize, and for emotional consolation. Lack of physical activity. Bulimia. Depression. Tobacco, prescription drugs, or heroin for social anxiety. Cosmetic surgery to erase rejected features.”

 I could really go in and tell you how accurate this is, but I’ll just touch on a few areas. Ok, so the first part- sweets. I have a decent sized candy jar in my room that is stocked up at all times. So you tell me.

Alcohol? I’ll be honest… I’ve indulged a few times as a coping mechanism. Not something I’m proud of, but it’s something that’s real accurate. There was a time where I fell off and found myself reaching for the bottle regularly. I cleaned up nice, though.

Finally, cosmetic surgery. I’ve said so many times that I want to get my nose straightened and smoothed out on the bridge. It has a really weird flat top and itty bitty bump that I’m not a fan of. I’ve also talked about getting lip filler because my bottom lip is the size of at least three of my top lip and it looks insane.

Finding out what my enneagram type is was really exciting. It really helped me see my life in a whole new light. Reading certain traits made me feel a lot better about the direction I am heading in and the way I behave in certain situations.

I highly encourage you to take the quiz and learn what type you are!

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Here’s What Will Happen When You Fall in Love with Someone Who Can’t Love You

Short answer? It hurts like hell.

Long answer?

Things won’t feel right for a while. It’ll feel like you’re going through the motions. You’ll be checking your phone to see that they haven’t called or texted you. You’ll feel like you’re missing something in your day.

You’ll catch yourself thinking about them when you shouldn’t be. Any little thing will remind you of them- the shirt you wore that one time when they came over, the spot on the ceiling you looked at while they held you in their arms, the balled-up gum wrapper sitting on your bedside table. Everything becomes a trigger of a memory. You’ll know that you can’t keep thinking about them, but it’s out of your control.

You’ll wish you could talk to them. Maybe you can. Maybe they’ve said you can text them any time, but you know deep down that they said that just to be polite. Communicating is not something they really care about. If they did, they would’ve been honest with you from the start.

You’ll keep the photos for a while. Probably because you don’t want to let go. Or maybe because you’ve started to feel better but seeing their face washes away the flood gates and you feel all the feelings again. Their face will live in your phone until the feelings are such a distant memory that you forget they’re even there.

You’ll catch yourself falling even more. You know it won’t work, but that won’t stop you from thinking about how happy you two would be if. 

You’ll sleep more. Being awake leads to overthinking. Any time you open your eyes, you’ll shut them again and force yourself to go back to sleep. You won’t want to be awake. You may even feel a pain in your stomach when you think about taking on the day.

You’ll look at things differently. That quote from some philosopher whose name you can’t pronounce might start to have a heavier meaning to you. It might get you thinking. The sad parts of cheesy Hallmark movies might hit too close to home.

You’ll decide to make a change. Changes don’t just come out of thin air. You have to work for them. You have to make them what you want them to be. You’ll see that the position you are in is no longer serving you and want to change that.

You’ll eventually feel ok again. All this pain subsides in due time. I can’t tell you that it’ll be quick or easy. I can just tell you it’ll be right. If you hurt for months, that’s what is right for your path. Days? Hours? Same thing. You’ll start to feel normal and maybe even better than before. You’ll go out more, experience more, love more. You’ll be more you. You’ll love yourself how you wished they would have loved you.

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You Don’t Earn Your Depression

The other day, I came across an article on Odyssey called “You Don’t Need A Reason For Your Depression, It’s Still Valid if Your Life is Technically ‘Good’“and it really got me thinking about a conversation I had with someone recently.

I was talking to a friend about how hard things have been and how badly I wished I wasn’t here. I vented about everything because I felt like I was talking to someone I could trust… someone who would help. Instead, I got the grand old “there are people who have it worse than you” lecture.

And in that moment, I felt disappointment and guilt. Disappointment because that wasn’t at all what I wanted or expected to hear. It was like I was reaching for help but they were stepping on my fingers. Guilt because now I felt terrible for taking everything I had for granted. Even guilt for speaking up about how I was feeling.

I spent a few days feeling awful about feeling awful.

Now I’m finally realizing how wrong that is. I mean, I always thought it was messed up for someone to say you’re not allowed to be upset because people have it worse than you. It’s like saying you can’t be happy because someone has it better than you. But something about the way it had been said to me that night was so manipulative that I was immediately convinced it was the truth.

My poor brain was doing flips. I kept shaming myself for overthinking or feeling pain. Any time I was sad, I told myself I was wrong. It added another layer of problems for me. It was like trying to put out a fire with more fire.

If you’re ever told that you shouldn’t be reacting a certain way because “someone else has it worse than you,” or “someone else would kill to be in the position you’re in,” know that your feelings are valid. It is not your job to base your pain on the pain of others. It is not your job to turn off your feelings at the flip of a switch because someone says you shouldn’t feel that way.

I hate what this person said to me. I hate this person’s mindset. But I don’t hate this person. I actually love them a lot. So, as you can imagine, it really hurts me that I can no longer feel comfortable talking to them about my struggles.

I didn’t want to write about this at first because I was afraid it would cause problems with the person who said it, but at the end of the day it needed to be said. Someone else might need to hear this. I hope the person who said this to me reads this. Let’s be honest, they’re probably going through some shit too.

Please, reach out to your friends. Make sure they’re ok. It isn’t easy to ask someone for help. By showing that interest yourself, it invites and reassures them.

 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

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Let’s Talk

Hi guys! I missed Monday’s upload intentionally. I felt it wasn’t a genuine post. I wanted this week to be all about genuine, raw emotions. I have a lot to talk about today. I want to address a lot of things and catch you up to speed.

It’s been chilly in Cleveland! As I’m writing this, I’m watching snow flurries out of my apartment window. I knew this warm weather was too good to be true. A good friend once said he’d take snow over rain because “at least the snow is nice to look at,” so I’ve been trying to follow that perspective while I put on my winter coat in the mornings.

School has been a little hard this semester. I missed my first week of classes to be with my family after the sudden and unexpected passing of my uncle. I won’t go into detail on that, but I’ll just say it was a very hard time for everyone. Then, only a couple weeks later, I got extremely sick and couldn’t go to classes. That put me yet another week behind schedule. I try not to get overwhelmed by things out of my control, but it’s been tough lately. I ultimately decided to drop a class that felt nearly impossible to catch up in. I am now taking 12 credit hours rather than 15. I’m still considered a full-time student and I still have a lot of work to do!

I’ve been using this week to pinpoint what makes me happy. I’ve spent so much more time with friends, which is wonderful. I’ve gone out to dinner, sang in the shower, treated myself to lots of desserts, etc. It’s been great. I feel so refreshed. I really wanted to give myself a break from the mess that 2020 has been thus far.

Clearly, not everything is great right now. There’s some things I’m dealing with that I don’t want to make public. But I want you to know that it’s not “all good in the neighborhood” because I’d rather be transparent than portray a false image of my life.

Next week’s post will be up on Monday as usual. It’ll be back to routine I promise.

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First Week of Spring Semester: CHECK

Spring semester is here and I’m thriving! So far, I love all of my classes and my instructors seem so nice and knowledgable. I’m super excited to put my all into this semester. Typically, I have a not-so-great first semester where I’m getting back into the swing of things after summer break, and then a really good spring semester. I hope that’s the case this year too.

Along with classes, I’ll be applying myself a lot more with content creating! I recently got this rush of motivation and I think it’s going to really help me kick my butt into high gear. I’ve been planning like crazy so I hope you guys enjoy everything I share!

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Apps That Make College Life Easier

I’ll be the first to admit that my eyes are glued to my phone. But I look at my phone as a tool. I have ways to stay in touch with family, ways to keep my day-to-day life organized, ways to give and receive important information, etc.

I’m only sharing apps that I personally use and enjoy. There are all apps I use regularly or feel that other students might.

Quizlet

I’m a big fan of flashcards. But when I don’t think my handwriting is good enough, I can end up rewriting the same thing a million times. It ends up being a waste of time. That’s why I use Quizlet now. I can get all of my notes transferred very easily into neatly printed flashcards that I can print OR access through my phone moments before my exam!

Venmo

Going out with friends is a constant game of, “I forgot my wallet. Can you spot me?” Venmo is a huge lifesaver in those moments. I’m almost always using Venmo.

Spotify

Walking to and from classes is so painfully boring without something to listen to. For college students, Spotify premium is half the price and includes Hulu and Showtime!

Calendar

I prefer to use Google Calendar for my planning and scheduling. It’s super easy to use and I can use it to schedule so many different aspects of my life by color coding. For example- blog related events are purple. I can scroll quickly through my calendar and the bright purple labels help me see right away when something needs to be done.

Postmates

When I’m rushing to get assignments done, I can never find the time to make myself something to eat. That’s why I worship at the feet of Postmates. Postmates makes it so east to get food from nearby restaurants delivered to your door. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used Postmates since I’ve been in college. It’s almost routine!

Blackboard

My university uses Blackboard as the platform for classroom communication and access to materials. I use the blackboard app to see what’s on my syllabus when I am not around the printed copy. I can also use it to communicate with professors and classmates, check due dates, and submit projects I complete on my phone.

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