Posted on March 17, 2019
Hi guys and happy Saint Patrick’s Day! It’s been a month since I decided to take a break from blogging. At the time, my mind was getting pulled in a million different directions and I couldn’t find time to sit down and write. My motivation was gone and my sanity was hanging on by a thread. Although I’m not ready to come back as strong as I was before, I thought I would take some time to give an update on everything that has gone on since I announced my break.
The day after I decided to take a break, I went back to my hometown for the weekend to be with my family. I got to go to a high school basketball game which was fun since I haven’t had a chance to get to any CSU games this year. The next week, my boyfriend and I took a trip to our hometown yet again for another basketball game for my sister’s senior night ceremony. For those of you who are unaware, senior night is when the seniors who participate in sports that season are recognized for their participation, grades, and goals for the future. It meant a lot to get to be there for her second senior night.
Luckily for me, my midterm week was kind to me. I only had two exams for the week in Bio and Arabic History. My other classes either assigned papers or just used our current grade as our midterm grade. My assignments were super hard and took up almost every minute of my day, but I was just happy that I didn’t have to study a million things.
I passed all my midterms but I recognize that I could have done even better. I guess I’ll just have to use it as motivation for the remainder of the semester. Although there’s a lot of work to be done in order to pull this off, I still have the goal of making it on the dean’s list. I’ve just come to terms with the small chance of that happening. It has nothing to do with my intelligence, but more to do with the number of assignments and exams I am given weekly. I know I’ve said this a lot, but there’s not much downtime between one assignment and another. That’s pretty common in college and people still manage to pull off getting on the dean’s list somehow, so props to those people! I just know that my brain needs lots of breaks to feel healthy.
As I’m writing this, it’s the last day of spring break. It’s hard to believe it’s already over. It went by in the blink of an eye for me. I didn’t go on any big vacation or do anything special. I just wanted to relax and enjoy my apartment since I’ll be moving out in just a few months. I really took for granted the opportunity to live by myself in a new area. There’s so much I wish I would have done sooner, but there’s no going back to change that so I have to make the best of what I have while I still have it. I’ve spent a lot more time in the backyard of the complex overlooking the lake and studying/reading- even when it’s a bit chilly outside. The view is something I may not get living somewhere else, so I’m trying to appreciate it. I move out in May, although the date has not been set. I just know that I have to be out by May 17. It seemed like such a long time away when I first moved in and somehow the days just crept right up on me. As much as I’ve absolutely hated this place and all it’s breaking amenities, I’m sure I’ll shed a few tears when I’m carrying out the last of my things. It was my first apartment and first time living on my own. It quickly became my home and it sucks having to go.
Like I said earlier, I’m not quite ready to get back into writing consistently but I wanted to give everybody an update. I know it’s nothing special but it’s something. I’m still working on myself every day and it’s much harder than some people may think. I’ve faced (and continue to face) so many personal situations that have gotten in the way of my happiness, confidence, and mental health. The battle does not end, no matter how defeated I tend to feel. One day I hope to update everyone on what has been going on behind closed doors, but for now, I want to keep some things private.
I’ll see you guys back here soon!
Love you all.
Category: Blog Tagged: academics, answers, apartment, Blog, College, college student, education, family, focus, focusing on me, future, girl talk, good grades, grateful, happy, journey, learning, life, life update, me, midterms, moving out, sad, school, spring break, student, studying, university, update
Posted on February 7, 2019
Sorry I didn’t get any material up on Tuesday. This kind of explains why. Be ready for my post next week where I explain where I’ve been!
Posted on January 24, 2019
College is a rollercoaster of emotions. So is The Office, a television show that college students seem to be obsessed with. I can see why, as so much of what goes on in the show is relatable for any student.
1. When you check your bank account to see if you can go out to eat with your friends.
2. When your friends go to the library without you.
3. When you tested into a high math on accident.
4. Making sure you’re eating 3 square meals a day.
5. That failed exam?
6. When you decide to change your major after already taking classes you won’t need.
7. Reviewing the entire semester’s material for final exams.
8. When it’s time to go but your professor keeps lecturing.
9. When the friends you made fall semester don’t talk to you during the spring semester.
10. Coming back to your home town after working your ass off all semester.
I could go on forever with more ways that The Office is just soooo relatable, but
Posted on December 26, 2018
A year ago today, I posted Paying Homage to 2017, where I took time to look back at everything that happened to me in 2017 that influenced me deeply. I said that I had an eventful year, and I was looking forward to 2018. However, I couldn’t have possibly been prepared for all that this year had in store for me. Let’s go ahead and look back at all that has happened in the past 12 months. Be warned- a lot more happened this year than last year.
I celebrated the new year with my boyfriend, Zach. We started off at my God Mother’s house, then after a trip to McDonald’s minutes before the ball dropped, we made it to my house. I wanted this new year to be rung in perfectly, so I ran to the tv as fast as I could and got ready for the count down. We made it just in time to eat a few chicken nuggets before we shared our first New Year’s kiss.
After working at Boys and Girls Club for about 5 months, I decided to resign. I’ll keep it professional and not go into too many details, but to sum it up, the employees were not kind to me and I felt that my voice was no longer being heard. It was extremely hard for me to do, as I loved the students I got to know. The smiles on their faces made all the hard work and sleepless nights worth it. However, I knew that I would continue to be treated poorly and for my mental health, it was time to go. I’m still very unhappy with how I was treated and how nobody really seemed to care when I told them, but it’s in the past and I just hope that things have gotten better there.
The day before my last day of work, I came home to my sick hamster, Arodite. She had been looking sickly for a while, and I wasn’t sure what was wrong. She barely ate and didn’t drink much water. The only way I could keep her hydrated was by letting her chew on a wet washcloth. It was devastating. This day had been extremely hard for her. She wasn’t moving around much, staying close to her tower of bedding she created. That night, I was in the living room with my mother when we started to hear breathy cries from the room Arodite was in. I was too nervous to check on her, so I asked my mom to see if she was alright. She said, “oh, she’s crying.” Then, just as I got up to comfort her and give her some water, my mom corrected herself.
“No, don’t come in here. I think she’s dying.”
I know I should’ve ran in there immediately and held her in my arms, but I was so heartbroken that I couldn’t face her. I ran outside and refused to come back into the house until she passed. My father, who once worked at the county’s Metroparks, put my sweet Arodite down in the most humane way he was taught. I could hear her crying and gasping for air as I cried outside.
I’m so grateful for my boyfriend for coming over late that night to be with me while I cried. I was so upset that my fuzzy little baby had passed and there was nothing I could have done to save her. It was just her time to go.
As some of you know, my boyfriend was a grade below me in high school, so he had his senior prom this year. I dreaded going because I wanted nothing to do with high school events such as this, but I was obligated. It was a nice time back with friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. Zach was the absolute sweetest to me that night. We danced for hours, then left a little early to get Wendy’s. After we finished our food, we headed to my house to relax. That’s when Zach gave me a book he made of reasons he loves me. Reading it made me cry like a baby. I was so sappy and lovey all night. All I wanted was to be cuddled up with my man. I don’t think anything has changed.
A couple months later, Zach graduated high school. This was a special moment for him and I couldn’t go without sharing. I was so extremely proud of him, and as he walked across the stage to receive his diploma (from my dad, the V.P. of the School Board), my friends and I screamed and cheered. I ended up crying a few times too.
Being alongside him while he was working to get his diploma made it that much more special to me. I watched him get frustrated when he didn’t understand something, excited when he did, and relieved when he was on track. I knew he was ready for greater things and seeing him get that green light to do so was powerful.
After a long, painful few weeks of bickering and disagreements, Zach and I broke up. I was devastated. But it had to be done. Of course I was hysterical for months. I begged him to come back, but thankfully he said no. I say “thankfully” because we weren’t ready for each other yet. We needed some time to grow ourselves. Although there were many nights that I sobbed into my pillow and screamed until I lost my voice, I am grateful for our break up.
But here’s the thing- while we were broken up, we were still seeing each other. We wanted to maintain a friendship, since that’s where we started. He would come over and we would talk, or we’d go to the park or the lake to get away from everything. It was nice spending time with each other because he was such a huge part of my life for so long. It was comforting. So that is why we say that although we did not have the title of boyfriend and girlfriend, we were still “together.”
I felt the need to explain this to everyone because people were confused when we split, and even now when we say we’ve been together for over a year. Although we were not boyfriend and girlfriend for a couple months, we were still talking and loving each other just as if we were. We like to say we never left each other’s side, so that’s why we say we’ve been together the whole time. We basically were. What’s a title worth anyway?
Since the breakup left me with many open days throughout the summer, I got to spend a lot more time with my friends and family. I got to go to my sister’s travel softball tournaments that were hours away, which was a great way to relax. Well, until my sister’s team lost, which was quite often. But getting away from the small town I felt trapped in was wonderful. I felt myself growing just from a weekend of being away. When we got back, my dad offered to take some pictures of me to boost my confidence and keep my mind off things. And that’s when this photo was taken. I really love all the photos he took of me because I feel so strong when I look at them. I see myself not letting things hurt me.
My friends also deserve a huge “thank you” for all they did for me over the summer. They were always there for me no matter what. Whether I was canceling plans because I couldn’t gather myself enough to leave my room or shaking and crying in public, they understood. We got to make great memories together and I couldn’t be happier.
I spent my last day as a teen this year. My 20th birthday was hot, exhausting, but so much fun. My best friends took me to the zoo and to dinner. I complained the whole time because it was scorching hot and my feet hurt, but the memories created that day were special enough to last forever. At this point, Zach and I decided to get back together, as we found it impossible to live without the other in our life. So I invited him to come with us to celebrate. Having all of my favorite people together was magical. It was a great way to spend my last few days at home before going away for college.
On August 17th, I moved into my first apartment. I had never lived on my own before, so I was terrified. I know so many people who were nothing but excited when it came to moving out and that made me feel awful for the way I was looking at it. I thought I was babied too much and I was going to hate it, but after some getting used to, it was the best decision I had ever made. I love living by myself. I have so much more motivation to do things because nobody else can be held responsible for the end result- just me. Oh, I also went blonde that same day after battling with my dark hair for months. It came out sort of yellow, as to be expected, and it took months of toner and purple shampoo before I was able to get it to a subtle blonde. It isn’t the cutest yet, but it’s getting there.
August 27th was my first day of school at Cleveland State University. I was extremely nervous because I had only one semester of community college under my belt and I had no idea what to expect. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t get lost as soon as I got off the bus that morning. It was overwhelming, but after the first traumatizing day, I knew exactly where everything was. I was really surprised when I knew where I was going on day 2.
Now, with a semester at CSU under wraps, I feel amazing. I’ve made so many great friends in the short time I’ve been going here. I found myself exploring things outside of my comfort zone and realizing my potential while being in college. It’s crazy. Tom Hanks once said that he was “exposed to this world that [he] didn’t know was possible” and that’s exactly how I feel.
Although this past year has been full of ups and downs, it has been the most influential. I got to see what I could and couldn’t handle which ultimately taught me life lessons. In the midst of it all, my love for my best friend grew and grew. Our relationship grew, too. After this rollercoaster ride of a year, I am very happy to say that Zach and I are as amazing as ever. We got through all obstacles life has throw our way with our heads held high. Our love for each other motivates me everyday, and something tells me it just might motivate me forever on.
2018, you were good to me sometimes…other times, not so much. But while I was going through my low points, I recognized all of my good points. I became grateful for all I had and all I would have. So thank you for giving me that ability.
2019, you’re going to be my bitch. I’m not holding myself back anymore, and 2018 taught me how to do that. I will learn from my mistakes, build off them, and prove how strong I really am.
Last year, I said that 2018 had a lot to live up to, but in all honesty, all coming years have a lot to live up to because I’ll only be going up from here.
Posted on December 5, 2018
I’m writing this with one week left of my first semester at University. As you all may know by now, I attended a semester of community college in Fall of 2017, but chose to take the next semester off to focus on a career path that I really enjoyed at the time. However, that career ended abruptly (by choice) and I decided to go back to school.
Picking the right school for me was extremely easy. I first visited CSU when I was a junior in high school and my school offered a field trip to tour the campus. I immediately fell in love with the area and everything the school had to offer. I knew right away that I didn’t want to go anywhere else. I was sold on Cleveland State. Looking back at it, I should have done a lot more research before committing to CSU. I don’t regret my decision, but I sometimes wonder if I would have been amazed by any other campus had I opened my mind to other schools.
My sister is a graduating senior in high school this year, and she has decided on following my lead in becoming a fellow Viking at CSU come Fall 2019. This was a decision that was urged by many financial and convenience matters. However, she did have many other options on the table.
I originally wanted to post this before she made her final decision, but I figure if I do it now, it may help someone else too. I compiled my best tips and tricks to finding the perfect college for you. These are all things I wish I knew before I chose CSU. I really love my school, but I could have done some things differently. So please, please, take these tips into account before you chose the school you will spend the next four (or more) years at.
1. Have a good idea of what majors you plan to study.
Yes, I said majors. Have backups and plenty of them. There is a good chance that you will want to change your major at some point. You will want to know that the college you are going to will offer great opportunities and educations for whatever you may change your major to.
2. Don’t follow friends.
Those of you who haven’t listened to the episode Meg on the Mic with Zach, I briefly discussed the backlash I received for “following” my boyfriend to college. I explained that I wanted to attend CSU before I dated Zach. I just planned on attending after another year at a community college. However, the idea of having a friend who was going through the same freshman experiences as me encouraged me to skip the second year at community college. It made things so much more exciting and it gave me strength since I’m such a scaredy-cat.
BUT I really encourage everyone to branch out if possible. If you and your best friend both happen to chose the same school, that’s great. But please don’t base your college decision on where your friends are going. College is your time to make new friends and make memories with new people. Sure, you can still do this with your old friends, but sometimes it’s easier to be thrown into a pool of strangers believe it or not. I’ve made a lot of friends in classes full of people who were in the same situation as me- alone.
3. Reach out to people who attend schools you’re interested in.
This helps a lot with getting the feel for a college. Campus tours are meant to really fluff up the campus, student life, and education programs. The only true way you will know what a school is like before attending yourself is to talk to someone who currently goes there. Even better- talk to someone majoring in the same thing as you. Remember, tour guides are often times students who are paid to say certain things to you while you’re on your tour. Talking to students who aren’t obligated to hype up the campus will be brutally honest and answer all your questions without holding anything back.
4. Consider location.
Are you planning on bringing a car? Are you allowed to bring a car? Do you want to be close to home? Far from home? Near certain resources? These are all important questions to answer. I live about an hour away from campus, and I’ve found that it’s the perfect distance for me. I don’t have a car (I don’t drive. I think we’ve been over this) so I can’t get home by myself in case of emergency. But I can always rely on a family member or friend coming to get me since it’s not too much of a trip. It’s a good distance to test my independence while still have my family a drive away if I need them. Maybe that’s not for you though. Maybe you want to be far away from home. If you think you can do it, go for it.
5. Don’t disregard schools because of the cost.
You most likely will not be paying full price for college. With scholarships, financial aid, and other sources of financial assistance, tuition will be much more manageable than it may seem at first.
I have so many more tips that I could share, but for the sake of this becoming a long read, I’ll cut it off at five tips for now. If you guys have any questions or tips of your own, let me know and I could do a follow up post.
Remember to follow megannlouise.com to be updated when posts are published! 12 Days of Blogmas is right around the corner and you’ll want to be in the know when the holiday posts are up and ready to read!
Posted on November 17, 2018
Hello everybody! Welcome to another episode of Meg on the Mic!
On today’s episode, I am joined with my boyfriend as we talk about the ups and downs of our relationship, his new pet turtle, and so much more.
Posted on October 22, 2018
Hi everyone! It’s been a while since I’ve posted (surprise surprise). School started to get really time consuming, as you all can imagine. I had to take some time away from writing so I still had time to relax between school and my many homework assignments. School hasn’t been too bad so far. I’ve definitely had to fight with myself to get out of bed and go, but the classes don’t suck as much as I had expected them to. Well, with the exception of one class, but that’s for another time. We just passed the midpoint of the semester last week so I’ve been counting down the days to winter break.
This post is short and sweet because I just want to let everyone know I’m alive and well.
I’m going to be doing a Q&A post as soon as I sort through everybody’s questions and pick my favorites (you guys had some really interesting questions) so be on the look out for that in the next couple days! Also, if you’re new here and would like to ask some questions, you can do that for the next 24 hours on my Instagram story (@meg.rosecrans).
I hope all is well with you guys, and I can’t wait to get back into things. I promise I’ll try harder to get content up, and this will be the last time I catch myself slipping for so long.