Hi guys! I missed Monday’s upload intentionally. I felt it wasn’t a genuine post. I wanted this week to be all about genuine, raw emotions. I have a lot to talk about today. I want to address a lot of things and catch you up to speed.
It’s been chilly in Cleveland! As I’m writing this, I’m watching snow flurries out of my apartment window. I knew this warm weather was too good to be true. A good friend once said he’d take snow over rain because “at least the snow is nice to look at,” so I’ve been trying to follow that perspective while I put on my winter coat in the mornings.
School has been a little hard this semester. I missed my first week of classes to be with my family after the sudden and unexpected passing of my uncle. I won’t go into detail on that, but I’ll just say it was a very hard time for everyone. Then, only a couple weeks later, I got extremely sick and couldn’t go to classes. That put me yet another week behind schedule. I try not to get overwhelmed by things out of my control, but it’s been tough lately. I ultimately decided to drop a class that felt nearly impossible to catch up in. I am now taking 12 credit hours rather than 15. I’m still considered a full-time student and I still have a lot of work to do!
I’ve been using this week to pinpoint what makes me happy. I’ve spent so much more time with friends, which is wonderful. I’ve gone out to dinner, sang in the shower, treated myself to lots of desserts, etc. It’s been great. I feel so refreshed. I really wanted to give myself a break from the mess that 2020 has been thus far.
Clearly, not everything is great right now. There’s some things I’m dealing with that I don’t want to make public. But I want you to know that it’s not “all good in the neighborhood” because I’d rather be transparent than portray a false image of my life.
Next week’s post will be up on Monday as usual. It’ll be back to routine I promise.
Can you believe this is my third year writing my yearly recap? I can’t!
So for those who don’t know, at the end of every year I like to highlight some of my highs and lows of the year (see Paying Homage to 2017, Paying Homage to 2018). I started in 2017 as a casual post, not thinking I would keep up with it the following years. I always consider the third time to be what establishes something as a tradition, so here we are guys! It’s officially a Megann Louise tradition!
In last year’s recap, I said I was going to make 2019 my bitch. Well, we win some, we lose some, right? Whenever I look back on this year I get a bad taste in my mouth. I know a lot of great things happened, but I also experienced a lot of heartache. I’d consider this year to be one of great growth for me.
At the start of the year, I got to see Cody Ko and Noel Miller live with my sister and friend James. Their Youtube videos were what got me through a lot of hard stuff so it was wild that I was in the same room as them.
In May I finished my first year of college at CSU. I ended up making the Dean’s List, which I would not have expected at the beginning of the year. I finally decided on the right major for me in that time too- communication.
I moved out of my first apartment in May, too. It was the ending of an era, I suppose. That place became my home. I made so many wild memories in apartment 509. As sad as I was leaving, I felt a weird sense of relief too. I was leaving behind a piece of me, which was sort of sad, but I knew I was starting a new chapter.
In July, I surprised my sister with a party for her 18th birthday. It was pretty last minute, but all her friends pitched in and helped me make things work. I was so grateful for everybody’s help in making it such a success. Being able to do something like that for my sister was so special to me.
Then there was a bump in the road. I said goodbye to a nearly two year relationship. Things just don’t work out sometimes and it’s for the best. I still have a ridiculous amount of love and respect for my ex. He’s a great guy…. just not my soulmate. And that’s alright. It took me a while to move past the heartbreak, which is to be expected when you were with someone for a long time. He is genuinely one of my best friends and I’m so lucky to still have him to confide in whenever I need him. While some would expect me to be sad that the relationship ended, I’m glad that I’m still lucky enough to have a friend in him.
For a while after the break up, I was in a really dark place and couldn’t seem to find the way out. I didn’t feel half as confident as I once did. I suppose it’s normal (but in no way healthy) to dog on yourself after a break up… at least for a little while. After I was finally able to get myself out of bed, I was going out to get my mind off of everything. That’s where the fun came in.
First, we went to see Granger Smith. The story behind that one is a little random. We had gone to Walmart and there were two tour buses in the parking lot (which obviously isn’t a normal thing). Turns out Granger was at Walmart! We didn’t get to see him there, but we took it as a sign that we should buy two tickets to the show that was only hours away. I have to say that that was one of the best nights I’d had in a while. The rush we felt after buying the tickets was insane. We immediately ran to get ready and blasted Granger throughout the house.
The very next night, we were invited to tag along to a Foreigner concert. I didn’t know too many songs (I know, what’s wrong with me?!) but I still had such a good time. I think that’s one of the first nights where I was able to fully drop every bad thought at the door and enjoy myself.
In late August, I moved back to Cleveland with my little sister for school. We got a new place with two other roommates that’s a lot nicer than the one I lived in the year before. I started what is the second semester of my sophomore year. Rianna, my sister, began her first semester as a freshman! The semester came with a lot of adjusting for us both and somehow we made it through all of the headaches.
For the second year in a row, my dad, sister, and I went to the Cleveland Air Show. When I was little, my dad always talked about taking us. Then finally last year, we got to go. I’ll be honest- I didn’t think I’d enjoy it all that much. But it was so much fun, that I was jumping up and down over getting to go again this year. I’d love for this to become a tradition!
To reward ourselves for kicking butt the first few weeks of school, Rianna and I went to our first Cleveland Indian’s game! I’ve never been a die hard baseball fan, but the atmosphere was so fun and I really enjoyed myself. I was still trying to recover from a lot mentally so that night was a breath of fresh air for me. Fun fact- I also bought my first legal drink at the game!
School got progressively more challenging and I went into a downward spiral. I started doing things I swore to myself I would never do. I just lost control of who I was. That’s when I reintroduced myself to faith. I let myself stray from religion in the past few years and by coming back, I felt myself finding closure and motivation to overcome everything I was facing.
Then I did something out of my comfort zone. After having several deep talks with my friend Kaleb, I found motivation to share my story. I went live on Instagram. I came clean about everything I had been feeling because I hoped being transparent would not only help me, but help someone watching. I was open about things that most people would consider taboo. Laying it all out on the table really helped me see the bigger picture. I even got some super sweet messages from people who watched to livestreams. There was so much support and understanding. It was beautiful. I don’t imagine I’ll ever get over that.
Shortly after, I reconnected with a friend I made during my first semester of school at CSU. We got lunch and caught each other up on our lives. We both had some wild stories to tell and a lot of laughs to share. I was really excited to have this friend in my life because he was absolutely hysterical and genuinely a great guy to be around.
I’m so excited to be saying goodbye to this transformative decade. I’ve got a lot of goals for 2020. I want to make it a year of hard work and big steps. I refuse to end 2020 in the same place that I start it. It’s time to grow, baby!
Thank you to everyone who stuck around for another year as well as those who stumbled upon my site this year! You guys make each and every year so special. I hope you all have a magnificent new year and get all you want and need!
Before I get into today’s post, I have some side notes. I want to let everyone know that there was a slight scheduling mishap with my last three posts. For some reason, they never went public! But they’re up now, so check out My Winter Bucket List , Stocking Stuffers for College Students , and Photos I Want to Take This December! Also, I know this post is going up a little later than usual, and that’s because I really wanted to get this up TODAY but I also wanted to spend some time with my family relaxing. And again, finals are coming up so I’ve been hitting those books any chance I get!
Today I wanted to give you guys a little update on what I’ve been up to and how I’ve been feeling. I don’t want this whole blog to just be me talking about how I’m doing, but sometimes I like to check in and write in my “digital diary.”
Lately I’ve been doing pretty well. Things really seem to be looking up for me. Sure, little things have pushed my buttons here and there, but I haven’t let anything get to me for long.
I got to see an old friend of mine for the first time in almost two years, which is so crazy to think about! Andy had been in Japan doing his tough guy USMC thing and hadn’t been home since before we graduated high school. It was so much fun getting to see him and other old classmates of mine!
I’ve been focusing a lot on school lately, which is good for me. I was letting my poor mental health dictate whether or not I attended class or completed assignments for so long that my grades were taking some hard hits. I had to really buckle down for a couple weeks and study like crazy. I have finals tomorrow and Tuesday that will really be make it or break it for me. Keep your fingers crossed or send prayers if that’s your thing. I’ll be welcoming of whatever positivity you throw at me!
In other news, I’ve met someone. He’s really freaking cool and I can’t think of a single time that we’ve hung out where we haven’t been dying laughing together. Good signs, right?
I don’t want to say too much yet because I’m sure once the time is right, I won’t shut up about him. I guess you’ll hear more soon!
Quick thanks to everyone who has been keeping up with everything I’ve been doing on Instagram and Twitter while I’ve been taking my sporadic breaks on here! You guys are awesome!
Finals week is next week and saying I’ve been overwhelmed would be an understatement.
I have so many papers and study guides to get completed. My head feels like it’s going to explode. I let the days fly by and totally lost track of time. Guess who’s really behind. Me. I’m behind. That’s who. *nervous laughter*
So I pretty much wanted today’s post to just be a short little heads up that blogmas might be super short posts until I’m through with finals next week.
Lame post, I know. But I had to get it out there somehow, right?
I know college is not cheap. Trust me, I’ve tried cutting corners as much as possible. I’ve avoided buying textbooks and used supplies down to the nub to avoid having to spend even a dollar more on things I didn’t think I needed for school. In some cases it was a great decision, but in other cases I was struggling without particular things. I know you’ve been there or maybe you’re even going through it now. It’s hard to decide whether or not to spend the big bucks on items while you’re in the store or shopping online, so I’ve compiled some of the items I knew I wasn’t sure about buying so you’ve got someone to help you make these decisions.
👍 A Laptop
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but just in case… BUY A LAPTOP TO COLLEGE! You need a laptop for almost everything in this day and age, and college is no exception. You can write papers, take notes, study, and do extra research with your laptop. Wait… why am I even trying to justify buying a laptop? Just do it.
👍 A Printer
Maybe this depends on the person, but I really liked having my own printer last year. I’m the type that likes to have printed copies of my work to proof read and take extra notes. I even took a class where material was covered really quickly to fit it into the time slot we had, so it was easiest for me to print out the powerpoints before class and take extra notes during class (I learn better when I write instead of type, don’t come for me). If you can’t get to campus provided printers regularly, they I definitely suggest investing in a printer. Mine also scanned, copied, and faxed, which is something I think is important to look for in a printer. It ups the price a bit, but it’s so much more helpful in the longrun.
👍 A Coffee Maker
If you’re even considering tackling college without a coffee maker, you’re insane. I needed a cup just to get out of bed and another to sit in lecture. Don’t waste money on coffee from campus shops when you can get your own coffee maker and make things exactly the way you want it to be! If you’re feeling like going all in, you can even opt for the pricier frappuccino maker.
👍 Comfy Shoes
It may not seem like a huge purchase to some people, but getting a nice, comfortable pair of shoes that can be worn for different occasions is one of the unspoken keys to success. I loooooove my Nike Rosche Ones. They’re great for walking around campus, going to the gym, or just running errands. I’m obsessed. I have the standard black and white pair so they match all my outfits, but the teal ones are calling my name so they might be next on my list.
👍 A Nice Backpack
People sometimes glaze over the importance of a good quality backpack. I actually invested in a couple nice backpacks (Jansport Big Student, Matein) to serve me for the next four years. I would’ve only gotten one, but I love to switch out my backpack from time to time to spice things up. I saw a lot of students on campus with the same Matein backpack as me so I guess a lot of us had the same last minute thought to buy a backpack from amazon! But anyway, do yourself a favor and get a nice new backpack for college. Look for something that’s a good size and has comfortable straps. I’ve had a few backpacks in the past that have literally ripped the skin off of my shoulders (ouch).
Those are a few of the more expensive things worth purchasing for college. I always recommend looking into big items before taking the plunge. Look up reviews, other advice blogs, and your school’s facebook pages to determine whether or not it’s a good idea for you.